51 Responses to “What’s An Old Screenwriter To Do?”

1. Ashley at Selling Your Screenplay on Friday: 5 February 2010|1756

   UNK;

   That’s a pretty funny story. I’m curious, what was wrong with the other offers?

   I’m always willing to make any and all changes producers want but the more ridiculous they are the more money I expect to get to do them. So to me it’s always just a matter of “what are the changes and how much are you willing to pay for them?” In this case I’m wondering why you didn’t at least get to that point. Who knows, maybe they have deep pockets.

2. SD Eric on Friday: 5 February 2010|1758

   Great to see a new post.

   “You guys go make some movies that actually make some fucking money and then come back and talk to me.”

   I thought you were angling for a job until you gave them that last line. Man-o-man, you don’t pull punches, LOL. (That’s right, LOL!)

3. Unk on Friday: 5 February 2010|1820

   Ashley,

   The other offers have me changing the story in ways I simply do NOT want to change the story… One huge change that I do not want to make in the story are location changes… Now don’t get me wrong… With any other story, that would be a no-brainer but not with this story.

   My feeling with THIS particular screenplay is that I’d rather shred the thing than change what I feel are significant and important story elements. Since I too am a producer, I understand completely how the industry works and how changes are always going to be made. This ain’t my baby but I’m standing fast on this one unless someone requests some changes that make sense to ME.

   Deep pockets be damned… Money just ain’t all that to me. This particular story just happens to be MORE IMPORTANT to me.

   And besides… I already have a deal waiting as long as I’m willing not to go into production for PROBABLY another 3 years. Worst case scenario is that I just wait for that deal and not have to change a thing.

   Any other screenplay I’ve written this wouldn’t have been that big a deal but this time around, I’m standing firm.

   Plus… I could tell with all the elements this twenty-something already had in place from doing my research, it would just fuck up my story in the end.

   Not worth it to me to do that.

   Unk

4. Christian H. on Friday: 5 February 2010|1844

   Welcome back. I scream into my pillow at night.

   It’s funny that it came up because I actually have a short about a gay couple going into production and the ability to extend it to a feature…IF

   I actually made a few requested changes (more additions) but they weren’t germane to the story so I did them.

   It’s such a good feeling isn’t it? And it comes just in time for me to be on set as I’m moving to LA on March1.

   Good to hear from you.

5. tammy on Friday: 5 February 2010|1946

   long time lurker but an avid fan. glad to see you posting again too. i saw that your site made moviemaker.com list, the 50 best blogs for moviemakers:

   http://moviemaker.com/producing/article/50_best_blogs_for_moviemakers_moviemaker_magazine_20100121/

   congrats!

6. Daily Dojo of Joshua James » Blog Archive » Unk’s Back! on Friday: 5 February 2010|1954

   [...] the tale What’s An Old Screenwriter To Do? … I do love me many a story from Unk, though the particulars of this one is maddening for all [...]

7. Jake James on Friday: 5 February 2010|2100

   I probably would’ve made it to the end line long before you did. In fact (and shockingly have), I would’ve said something like, “I’m open to a meeting to talk about just about anything… BUT if you’re really interested in this script make me an offer THEN we’ll discuss the drastic changes you want to make.”

   I’ve never made a nickel talking. You pay me, I’m your whore.

8. Christian H. on Friday: 5 February 2010|2105

   Also, I was just talking about the shift of the term high concept to meaning “will my kids like it.” Maybe it’s Hollywood parental guilt?

   Umm, but they don’t even need a summer job.

9. Elver on Saturday: 6 February 2010|0251

   The Unk returns!

   You know, it would be really cool if you wrote more about the inside of this sausage factory known as the film industry. We, wannabe-screenwriters who probably make up most of your audience, have a ton of information bombarding us about how to WRITE a film, but stuff like you just described — we’ve only really able to learn that from BAD experience.

   Plus venting your frustrations is probably healthy :D

10. darthpaul on Saturday: 6 February 2010|0754

    Welcome back! You, my friend, have some serious balls, and I salute you.

11. Unk on Saturday: 6 February 2010|0834

    So I wrote the above post at a coffee shop. Got home… Watched a movie. Ate. Finally got back online to check email and I’ll be damned if (insert his name here) didn’t email me back and ask me AGAIN if I would be willing to tweak the script around a little older twenty-something — NOT the same actor but someone new and he neglected to say WHO.

    I will give him this… He emailed me at 9:30 P.M. Most producers would never be emailing anyone on a Friday night at 9:30 P.M.

    Unk

12. darthpaul on Saturday: 6 February 2010|1016

    Did he ever answer the question about where he actually got hold of the thing?

13. rjschwarz on Saturday: 6 February 2010|1031

    Sounds like they wanted a free rewrite, then they’d probably try to take that package somewhere. If they really wanted the changes they should have thrown briefcases full of cash at you (unmarked sequential twenties please).

14. Garrett on Saturday: 6 February 2010|1328

    And this is why I like you, unk.

15. Unk on Saturday: 6 February 2010|1355

    darthpaul,

    He still hasn’t answered that question and I did ask again.

    rjschwarz,

    Could be… I don’t do those kinds of gigs anymore although I do like the idea of a briefcase full of random unmarked 20s… Somehow, with MY background, that just FEELS right.

    Unk

16. Karel on Sunday: 7 February 2010|0536

    Welcome back!

    Now, can you stay around for a bit before disappearing again?

    I like the suspense around where he got the script from. (Why does the name Carson Reeves suddenly spring to mind?)

17. Best o/t Web 7 Feb 10 | The Story Department on Sunday: 7 February 2010|0542

    [...] UNK is BACK! :: Do what works for you. :: The carpentry metaphor, about polishing a script. :: Great [...]

18. Elver on Sunday: 7 February 2010|1419

    @Karel: Do we know for sure that the guy bugging Unk actually has the script? Judging by the comments he’s made about it, that might not be the case.

19. Zane on Monday: 8 February 2010|0212

    “Always make a movie for yourself before anybody. If you don’t, all you’re doing is feeding the machine.” – Lawrence Bender, 1994

    Granted, this mindset doesn’t always pay the bills. Nor does it guarantee the creation quality cinema. But dammit, it sure prevents demographics from dictating Story.

20. Mr. A on Monday: 8 February 2010|1042

    Thank you for the entertainment, Unk.

21. Emily Blake on Monday: 8 February 2010|1445

    And fuck that “people don’t like female protagonists” bullshit. Maybe if the studios allowed the writers to actually write women instead of stereotypes or feminized men we might have more watchable female protagonists.

    GOD DAMMIT that shit pisses me off.

    I missed you.

22. km on Monday: 8 February 2010|1741

    I have to tell you, I usually don’t post on your blog but I found this article you wrote irresistible.
    I actually want to read this script they got their hands on, if it actually exists. But judging from the way he worded his e-mails, it almost seems like he is an aspiring actor looking to attach himself to a writer who will write him parts.
    He also could simply be too embarrassed to approach a writer of your stature, resulting in his more ‘professional’ sounding approach(?), who’s to know.
    The fact is I just wanted to point out that age old saying, before you start responding to him with simply FUCK YOU GO AWAY, you never can be too careful — those people you treat like garbage on the way up the ladder…etc…etc…etc.

23. Unk on Tuesday: 9 February 2010|0739

    Elver,

    Hard to tell for sure. Could be though since they realize extensive changes would have to be made.

    I ain’t makin’em.

    Zane,

    I am familiar with that quote… The machine. That’s what we call it. The Hollywood Product Machine.

    Mr. A — you’re welcome.

    Emily,

    Yeah, everyone is saying that right now as if it is the elements like that that make or break a screenplay/movie. It does get sickening to hear after a while but hey… It’s their money.

    km,

    The script exists… I’ve let a few readers read it. It definitely exists.

    Unk

24. Moviequill on Tuesday: 9 February 2010|1721

    Don’t know if you got my Twitter message, but the answer is “yes, sure”

25. Dave on Thursday: 11 February 2010|1555

    While I feel for ya, don’t go thinking that any other business isn’t full of warts and idiots. It’s just a symptom of business & people. There are people and companies that are just the opposite. Just have to find them.

26. neil brimelow on Sunday: 14 February 2010|2305

    I don’t understand this “trend” that the young movie going public -wants- to see (only) other young people in their movies.

    When I was 8 and saw Raiders, I didn’t come out of the theater and think “that movie was cool, but they should have dumped the 40 something old dude that played Indy and replaced him with a twenty-something guy with 12 pack abs. A twenty-something person is someone I could have related to.”

    I think the biggest problem Hollywood is facing is the lack of evil in just about every movie I’ve seen lately.

    Look at the new “Star Trek” movie. Everyone LOVED the new “Star Trek” movie, but the movie really didn’t even have a proper villain. The villain “Nero,” simply had went insane. He wasn’t Lex Luthor, trying to blow up half of California just so he could cash in on beach front real estate; Nero essentially just snapped, had a nervous breakdown and created an unrealistic scenario to blow up a planet just to get back at a guy that was trying to help him out.

    In the original Trilogy of Star Wars you had a definite contrast between good and evil. In the “prequels” you’d be hard pressed to figure out who exactly were the bad guys. Even after Darth Maul shows up the first time, Lucas had to make him actually look like a daemon so we’d go, “Oh, that must be a bad guy!” Even freakin’ Yoda wasn’t sure if the lightsaber wielding sith lord was indeed a sith.

    Anyway, whomever figures out how to make an epic movie with good guys and bad guys, good vs. evil, will make a lot of money; I’m talkin’ an “Avatar” amount of money. :)

27. Elver on Monday: 15 February 2010|0110

    Hi Neil!

    Interesting observation! Though I’d like to offer a counterpoint: “No Country for Old Men”. That’s about as pure evil as one can get.

28. dana_kovtun on Monday: 15 February 2010|0542

    well, it is sad when young people start like that. It is even more sad when adults act like this as well. And it is nice to see that there is someone to say “NO, I won’t play such games”.

29. peter on Monday: 15 February 2010|1557

    I totally sympathize with your plight and, as satisfying as it is to blow people off that way, I think there’s another way to look at this situation. These newbie producers were interested in your script, they had ideas. If you’re just starting out, I’d suggest getting them to take you out to coffee, get a little face time with them. Listen to their notes. Tell them to you’ll think it over. And then go back them and explain why their notes don’t hit you where you live. If you have the time, take the opportunity to get to know these folks. Like you they’re just struggling to get a foothold in the business, their approach to you was flatfooted and stupid but that’s because they’re rank beginners. But if they keep at it long enough they’ll learn and could become valuable contacts.

    There any number of ways to make a living in this business, but no matter how good your writing is, you’re going to have to deal with notes. (Dealing with them doesn’t mean doing free rewrites!)

    Anyway, one point of view. And, if it makes any difference, I’m a produced writer and up for a WGA award this year. Having said that, it doesn’t mean that I know what I’m talking about!

30. John on Monday: 15 February 2010|1620

    Hi UNK,

    I had a similar response to a query for a spec with a female protag (the actor’s last name started with a letter between ‘Q’ and ‘S’ – and that’s as specific as I’ll get). Anyway, changing my protag would be like changing Laura Croft to a guy – you have Indiana Jones as a young’n. I would do it for a producer with a track record. However, I wrote and told him no, and that I’m currently writing a spec that has a strong supporting role (fitting the compartmentalized roles he’s played, per IMDB.) Never got a response.

    John

31. James on Tuesday: 16 February 2010|1230

    LOL! You did great blowing him off!!!

32. Chris J. Scurria on Wednesday: 17 February 2010|0550

    Right on, Unk!

    I find it very discouraging to hear what is going on in the current Hollywood market. It pushes me more and more towards thinking I should do independent films (only drawback is that there is a HUGE chance they will be fairly low-budget).

    Just a few FYI’s but I feel that there should be an improvement to what makes it into the theaters, I don’t feel an interest to see Avatar on DVD or at ANYTIME, and I don’t mind your LOL’s. I don’t personally use them that often because I could imagine a person seeing them for the first time and going “‘LOL’. What the heck is a ‘LOL’?”

    lol (he he he).

33. Hat on Thursday: 18 February 2010|2222

    Yeah Unk, you’re telling me. I can’t believe half the shit they’ve been pumping out. And the upcomers…I shake my head in shame and despair.

    FUCK Hollywood.

34. Hat on Thursday: 18 February 2010|2225

    “Deep pockets be damned… Money just ain’t all that to me. This particular story just happens to be MORE IMPORTANT to me.”

    Oh and if we ever go to war, I want to be on your team.

35. Ryan on Saturday: 20 February 2010|1914

    “Pass the Tom Ramen”… LMFAO! I love the one-liners! Keep’em comin’!!!

36. Zach on Sunday: 21 February 2010|0711

    Funny story.

37. Jimmy Land on Saturday: 27 February 2010|1255

    Bwaaaahaaa HA!!!…Dude, too funny…I do amazing things with Top Ramen…but tonight it is sushi…Rice cakes and sardines…lol…

38. Swoosh on Friday: 12 March 2010|0112

    I agree with Peter above. You should have listened to them but with one critical difference: charge them upfront via Paypal for any work they ask you to do.

    The real block here is the money: they want you to work for free (hence their credibility is questioned) and you subconsciously resist because they can make infinite demands of you without any guarantee of you being rewarded.

    And to anyone who says that “Hollywood doesn’t work like that because there are a million writers out there that’ll do it for free” I say: a) you’re not a good business person – Hollywood repeatedly states that it is a business and you should conform to those principles and b) lots of people work that way (e.g. the guy who wrote the 510+ stage Hero’s Journey at clickok.co.uk charges upfront in that way).

    In summary, don’t be afraid to ask for money.

39. Andrew on Monday: 15 March 2010|0613

    “And I don’t want to get into a pissing contest about films like AVATAR, okay? It’s just not worth the trouble for anyone to defend a film like that… It’s just not made for me.”

    I’m sorry, buy if you can’t see the importance of Avatar to the industry in the same vein as the first talkie and first film in colour, you probably don’t deserve to work in the film industry.

    It’s the film that’s gonna usher in 3D films to the masses, as a genuine cinematography tool to add more layers and depth instead of a cheap gimmick to throw stuff in your face.

    Simply discarding it as ‘just another 3D film’ is to misunderstand what James Cameron’s insight of and passion towards technology is worth to the industry, even if the story and acting was bad in his latest film. We might not like to admit it, but story isn’t everything when it comes to technical masterpieces that push the industry to achieving even more.

    And to you, as a scriptwriter writing for a visual medium, adding a whole other visual dimension (literally) to films should be just as important as the plotted story, so it amazes me just how ignorant you are towards Avatar, dismissing it as ‘just another commercial film’. If you only care about great stories, go become a novellist – it’d stop you bitching about the film industry, anyway.

40. rjschwarz on Monday: 15 March 2010|0702

    Andrew, It’s possible that technology that makes a large percentage of the audience queazy and forces focus on a small subset of the screen is not going to be as huge a thing as you (and Hollywood) are predicting.

    A decade ago George Lucas predicted that the big budget movies would all shift over to Imax to give a bigger and better experience. They tried, the concept died. Sometimes a thing can seem obvious logically and still not work in the marketplace. This is why Hollywood can’t truly predict success or failure and why they stick to what has proven in the marketplace to be successful.

41. Andrew on Monday: 15 March 2010|0723

    It’s taken a little longer than Lucas predicted, but most big budget movies HAVE shifted over to IMAX to give a bigger and better experience. The concept hasn’t exactly died. It just took longer to achieve.

    And okay, yeah, it’s hard to predict the future blahblahblah. Maybe back when movies were first made, it was impossible to know the tecnhnology of future years, but this is today. We actually have technology companies all working together to achieve the same things.

    3D is the next big thing. It already is. The only reason it hasn’t taken off yet is because it was still an expensive (for cinemas to implement, I’m not talking about the production) gimmick, rather than anything that had a real technical prospect of working long-term in mainstream cinemas. It just needs a little honing from more guys like James Cameron. And it’s what we’ll be writing for in the future. We’ll need to script it in. Which is why dismissing Avatar as “just another action” film is to misunderstand film technology, which is to misunderstand the current film industry, which puts you at a severe disadvantage when trying to keep yourself in it.

    Like I said, if you don’t want to work in this world, you don’t have to. If the technical leaps we are making don’t sit well with you, it’s your choice to choose a form which is better suited to your own sensibilities. Lots of filmmakers are now making comics for the reason that it’s still visual yet readers have a much better appreciation for story than film execs.

42. rjschwarz on Monday: 15 March 2010|0736

    Just because Hollywood continues to put major films onto IMAX screens does not mean that folks are lining up to see the films on IMAX screens. Sometimes people will see things out of curiosity or because the tickets were sold out for the other showing. We won’t know if 3d is here to stay for a decade, until everyone is aware of 3d and either chooses to go to non3d showings or those non-3d showings dry up for lack of attendance.

    I think you misunderstand a screenwriters role. Screenwriters simply aren’t going to write 3d elements into a screenplay. The world is in 3d and the screenwriter already describes that. How does one write a scene where the trees are more three dimensional than the way one would have written the same scene a decade ago? It is the Director and/or Cinematographer who now have additional challenges to make that tree appear more 3d than they could have before, and the audiences job to care.

    Personally I found District 9 more realistic. I’m not talking story or plot or anything but the use of pseudo documentary style (something that could be written into a screenplay) seemed more realistic than the 3d of Avatar. That’s of course because we are inundated with watching that style day in and day out on tv while 3d has to compete with what we see all the time, not just when we’re expected to be entertained and with glasses and other restrictions I don’t think the 3d future is a given.

43. Andrew on Monday: 15 March 2010|0737

    Also, did you watch Avatar?

    “It’s possible that technology that makes a large percentage of the audience queazy and forces focus on a small subset of the screen is not going to be as huge a thing as you (and Hollywood) are predicting.”

    This is exactly the thing which Avatar avoided, which is why it is the ground-breaking film along the same lines as the first films in colour and that had sound.

    This WASN’T a film that concentrated on a specific area of the screen to gimmickise it. This was a film that used 3D to capture a whole world, a world whose background was as interesting as the foreground (moreso, if you take into account that the acting was happening in the foreground :-p). It was essentially only used for cinematography rather than just explosions. Even the quiet scenes had the same level of technology applied as the battle sequences, which for any film is a groundbreaking turnaround, even for 2D.

    So before you dismiss it, let’s word it another way: 3D has given the chance for quiet, non-action films the chance to appear on bigger screens instead of arthouse cinemas. It’s up to if those writers (people like UNK) embrace 3D. If not, they’re digging their own grave, as these films won’t be written and we’ll be left with more shoddily plotted 3D action films.

    It’s the same reason we don’t have slapstick so much anymore – when we got talkies, the slapsticks didn’t even try to adapt, while the wordsmiths crafted delicious dialogue. Now slapstick is a joke in itself.

    In 50 years, however much we liked well-crafted stories, it’s only as much as people liked slapstick 100 years ago. Let’s live and learn and adapt, instead of shunning things we are angry at and scared of.

44. Andrew on Monday: 15 March 2010|0747

    “Just because Hollywood continues to put major films onto IMAX screens does not mean that folks are lining up to see the films on IMAX screens.”

    Yes, it does. IMAX takings having been steadily rising for the past 5-10 years. The IMAX takings alone for Avatar were at least $200 by the end of February. You can deny it all you want, but IMAX isn’t a fad anymore. It’s a screen people are spending money to watch. And it’s not just Avatar – look at the takings of films in general and IMAX is accounting for more and more of the percentage every month we go on.

    “Sometimes people will see things out of curiosity or because the tickets were sold out for the other showing.”

    Whatever the reasons are, it’s happening. We can fight it like the slapsticks did 100 years ago and end up with our whole genre of films accumulating dust in a vault of old-time movies..or we can move onto new ways of writing film like the successful wordsmiths did.

45. rjschwarz on Monday: 15 March 2010|0748

    Yes I have seen Avatar and you are wrong. What Cameron did was avoid the gimicky bits of having things pop out directly into the audiences face and replaced it with a general 3d world, I agree with that, but watch the movie again and take your eyes off the action for a moment. Try to let your eyes explore this wonderful world he’s created. Try to look at the corners of the screen. The farther you get away from the Director’s intended focus the more out of focus the 3d gets. That is the nature of the beast when you have little red and blue shifts to create your 3d.

    Yes it is better, but we are basically watching a subset of the large screen no matter how you look at it.

46. Andrew on Monday: 15 March 2010|0749

    *$200m.

    Haha. I admit, if it WAS $200, you’d have a fair point!

47. rjschwarz on Monday: 15 March 2010|0752

    You clearly think 3d and IMAX are here to stay. For the sake of the theater owners I hope you are right but I think the jury is still out. I think Hollywood is terrified of home video improvements are trying new things and audiences are willing to give them a shot as well but that doesn’t mean they are here to stay. Especially as the lead times between theaters and Home Video versions gets reduced.

48. Bigcat on Thursday: 22 April 2010|0702

    Great story. I laughed out loud.

49. gerry stevens on Thursday: 13 May 2010|0848

    i have been reading your blog just a few days, unk. its teaching me a lot about hollywood. but can I disagree? i’m not yet a screenwriter; or anything much yet. still Avatar [i have read the script n seen trailers…this is a great blockbuster style movie. just like all the other huge money-spinners; star wars, raiders, terminators, aliens, titanic…i’m reading all these kinds of scripts and its mainstream; full of cgi, a lovetheme; greed v nature rights…surely its got the lot? why is it such a pisser? you write one of those; you will be pissing goldust champange…have to say i think this blog is great.

50. Lilpeep2u on Wednesday: 19 May 2010|2110

    God, damn you.
    My ribs really ache from laughing, I blew coffee at my nose holes (hate when that happens) and pissed myself once. Only other person who ever did that to me was Bill Murray in his walk-on in Zombieland. When I feel better, I’m gonna pull yer fuckin’ head off.
    Lil

51. Elver on Tuesday: 15 June 2010|1458

    Two comments in a row featuring some form of pissing.

    I feel dirty now.

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