Popularity: 52%

The Elevator Pitch

The Elevator Pitch. You’ve heard of it before… Right? They’re called elevator pitches because you need to be able to pitch your screenplay in the length of time it takes for the person you’re pitching to — to arrive at their floor and exit the elevator.

You’ve got to be able to draw them in with a succinct pitch that can be told in 10 to 30 seconds. Could be an actor. Could be a producer. Could be a director.

Which brings up a story that’s been passed around for many many years… Unfortunately, I forget the name of the screenwriter but allegedly, it’s someone we’ve all heard of. This screenwriter perfected his pitch and just started riding the elevators every day of agencies, management companies, studios, etc.

If I remember correctly, this screenwriter created a schedule that he consistently HONED to give himself more pitches per session. This screenwriter would position himself at specific elevators at specific times during the week in order to pitch his screenplays to entities that might be able to take one step further toward development.

For months, this screenwriter would ride up and down the elevators during the week in the mornings before work… In the afternoons at lunchtime… And of course in the evenings when everyone got off work. From what I understand, not only did this screenwriter manage to actually sell a couple of pitches but he ended up creating one hell of a network of people in the business.

And while the standard elevator pitch might be a little more difficult to pull off today because of where the entities are located, there’s always email. Yes, you can do an elevator pitch via email.

And the good news?

They work.

But back to the elevator pitch… From what I understand — remember, this is mostly hearsay and the story’s been handed down for years and years… But from what I understand, this screenwriter would take two or three of his screenplays that he wanted to pitch and enter the elevator armed and ready. If he managed to recognize someone in the elevator he knew to be an ENTITY, he would simply start a conversation by saying something like, “Hi, aren’t you SO and SO?”

Of course, these entities would immediately see the screenplays under this screenwriter’s arm… Sometimes they would say, “Are you a screenwriter?”

If they didn’t ask that question, they usually answered, “Yes, that’s me.”

To which the screenwriter responded something like, “Wow. I’ve been trying to make an appointment with you to pitch my screenplays.”

To which the entity would normally respond, “Go ahead and pitch them to me now.”

And off he’d go…

Until the entity arrived at his or her floor and exit the elevator. If the pitch went well, the screenwriter would of course follow the entity out of the elevator and keep pitching.

If it didn’t go well… LOL. Then stay inside and hit another floor button — start over.

The point here is to LEARN. Just like tweaking and polishing your screenplay, you’ve got to learn what works during these elevator pitching sessions… You’ve got to actually experience what triggers the entity to stand a little taller… Give you a little more attention. Make facial movements that suggest he or she likes what you’re pitching to them.

I’ve only pitched in an elevator ONCE. LOL. And that wasn’t my plan but since you never know when a opportunity to pitch may arise, you really should always be ready to pitch. I like pitching one on one. I like it a hell of a lot better than pitching in a room. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not that bad in the room but I grow WEARY of stupid questions…

“What about the love interest?”

“Where’s the inciting incident?”

“Can you make the protagonist a cyborg?”

I shit you not.

In fact, I should make a list of the most stupid things I’ve ever heard asked of me IN THE ROOM. It’s funny shit and REEKS of story formula.

But back to pitching in the elevator…

What the hell do you say in an elevator pitch?

You simply tell them what your screenplay is about but make note that you’ve got to be able to do it in 30 seconds or less. Most of the time, LESS.

But how do you start?

Well you start BEFORE you start… LOL. Huh? Yeah buddy — polish this pitch so that it FLOWS from your mind, body, and soul. Remember RESERVOIR DOGS? Remember when Mr. Orange had to learn his interesting anecdote? He practiced telling it over and over and over again until he OWNED IT. Once you own it, you can easily create and make spontaneous tweaks RIGHT ON THE SPOT.

Even in an email.

So you start by OWNING your pitch. Make it YOURS. Don’t make it mine. Don’t make it some pitching formula you’ve read out of a book or a web site. Don’t get me wrong… That’s a great place to start but it’s only a start. Using somebody else’s method of pitching only works if you’ve literally embraced that same method and made it yours and IF you’ve gone the extra mile and made it YOURS, you very likely are NOT using the formula exactly the way you learned it.

So what do you learn?

Two things first in my humble opinion…

• Tagline
• Logline

What’s a tagline? A tagline is that sentence that you see on the movie poster that sells the movie. Let’s take a look at some of the more powerful taglines that have been used for movies…

• Somebody said get a life…so they did. –Thelma & Louise
• Lie. Cheat. Steal. All In A Day’s Work. –Glengarry Glenn Ross
• Trapped in time. Surrounded by evil. Low on gas. –Army of Darkness
• He’s having the worst day of his life…over, and over… –Groundhog Day
• Seven deadly sins. Seven ways to die. — SE7EN
• The Toys Are Back in Town. –Toy Story

A tagline is a lot like subtext in dialogue… COOL subtext that is.

What’s a logline? A logline is a simple sentence — maybe two at the most — that summarizes what your screenplay is about. You don’t sell the farm in your logline however… Attempt to make it form a QUESTION in the entity’s mind you’re pitching it to so that they can ALMOST figure out the answer on their own but not quite.

*NOTE: I talk about a different kind of logline here called the COMPASS LOGLINE. I create a compass logline to keep in front of my face as I write my screenplay. It’s my compass that keeps me on track.

Huh?

Not quite. Why? Because you want the entity to think he or she KNOWS the answer to the question they just formed but still contain ENOUGH SUSPENSE to wonder what the actual answer IS to the question(s) they’ve formed in their mind hence, the ONLY WAY TO KNOW THE ANSWER is for them to in fact read the script.

Make sense?

Examples…

• When a Roman general is betrayed and his family murdered by a corrupt prince, he fights his way back to Rome as a gladiator to seek his revenge. –Gladiator

The question is… How would a gladiator — an enslaved man forced to fight for sport — be able to exact his revenge on the prince?

• A 1940s New York Mafia family struggles to protect their empire as leadership switches from criminal father to his war hero, non-criminal youngest son. –The Godfather

The question is… How would a war hero non-criminal youngest son of a Mafia family turn his life around to become The Godfather? What does he lose along the way?

• An adventurer archaeologist hired by the U.S. Government races around the globe to prevent the Nazis from finding and turning the greatest religious relic of all time into a weapon to rule the world. –Raiders of the Lost Ark

The question is… How does an archeologist prevent the Nazis from both finding the relic and turning it into a weapon of mass destruction?

• A rag-tag crew of an interstellar cargo ship battle a dangerous creature they find in the wreck of an alien spacecraft. –Alien

The question is… How bad IS this alien? How does this rag-tag crew fight it? Do they win?

• When a government bureaucrat is infected with an alien bug virus, he discovers his employers’ use of the aliens for weapons experiments and sacrifices his marriage to help the aliens escape. –District 9

The question is… What does this bug virus do to the bureaucrat? Do the aliens escape? And if so, HOW?

• When a waitress learns that her future son will lead the resistance against murderous machines destined to rule the world she must try to survive the robot assassin sent back in time to terminate her. –The Terminator

The question is… How BAD is this Terminator? Does she survive?

Now I just threw those loglines together for the purpose of this post… I don’t actually know what the original loglines were — assuming that there were any. So I tweaked them to leave some question(s) in your mind once you hear them.

That’s just MY WAY not the only way… But I can say that it’s worked very well for me.

So a logline summarizes what your story is about… We know that much. How do you put one together?

I like to focus on the following aspects of the story to formulate a logline…

• Protagonist
• Protagonist’s flaw
• Antagonist
• Setting
• Departure
• Action

Protagonist:

Your protagonist is obviously WHO your screenplay is about… We know that. Cool.

Protagonist’s flaw:

What is your Protagonist’s flaw? What isolates him or her from our world as we know it? Is she neglected? Is she unemployed? Is he divorced? Is he an alcoholic? This is the flaw that keeps your Protagonist from moving FORWARD and making the much needed change he or she needs to be happy.

Antagonist:

This can be an actual character or antagonistic forces.

Setting:

This can be a little harder to pin down… In the above examples we’ve got the following:

• Gladiator: A Roman general. Says it all. Tells us the setting immediately.
• The Godfather: A 1940s Mafia family. Again, this conveys the setting.
• Raiders of the Lost Ark: Nazis give us the period — races around the globe tells us that Indy’s all over the map.
• Alien: Interstellar cargo ship and alien gives us our setting quite nicely.
• District 9: Just mentioning aliens tells us this has got to be either set in the future — OR — like Independence Day — set in present day with aliens which heightens the suspense even more because we’d all probably wonder what we’d do if we were confronted with actual aliens from another world in our present day.
• The Terminator: Just metioning the future and a Terminator being sent back in time gives us our setting.

Get the idea? You’re trying to perform double-duty with all the above story elements.

Departure:

This is the part that some of you REALLY aren’t going to like… LOL. Departure. What’s it mean? Here’s the definition I like: A divergence or deviation, as from an established rule, plan, or procedure. Notice the definition says DEVIATION not DERIVATION? LOL. In other words, how does your story depart from all the usual shit we see in theaters? How is it different? What is its DEPARTURE from the standard or typical story within this genre?

Don’t have departure? Oops. Hey… Now that’s a T-SHIRT…

Got Departure?

Why am I harping on departure? Because if I had to PICK ONE problem with 99.99999% of the screenplays I read it would have to be departure. I’m not getting the same but different — I’M GETTING THE SAME.

The same just ain’t gonna cut it in this game… Especially in this economy. I hope you can figure out the departure of the above loglines… What makes them different from movies within the same genre? If you’ve written a screenplay and can’t answer this question, you might want to go back to the drawing board. And remember… For you nitpickers out there… Remember to judge these films/loglines as to their release timeline and not by TODAY’s timeline. Except District 9 of course.

Action:

What kind of ACTION does your Protagonist take to overcome the antagonist or antagonistic force? Let’s go back to the above examples:

• Gladiator: …he fights his way back to Rome as a gladiator to seek his revenge.
• The Godfather: …leadership switches from criminal father to his war hero, non-criminal youngest son.
• Raiders of the Lost Ark: races around the globe to prevent the Nazis from finding and turning the greatest religious relic of all time into a weapon to rule the world.
• Alien: …battle a dangerous creature.
• District 9: …sacrifices his marriage to help the aliens escape.
• The Terminator: she must try to survive the robot assassin sent back in time to terminate her.

Throw all these elements together one at a time… Keep condensing DOWN DOWN DOWN until you can make that logline as SHORT AS POSSIBLE. How short is short enough? I’ve read all kinds of analysis on this. I don’t think there is a one size fits all answer here but GENERALLY SPEAKING — keep your logline down to right around 35 words. That is simply a guideline. Your mileage may vary… A little more — a little less.

Having said that… Shorter is BETTER.

So now we have tagline and logline. Now what? Now you compare your MOVIE to other movies out there. Some people will tell you to use movies within the same genre… I think that’s fine AS FAR AS IT GOES. LOL. What’s that mean? It means as far as it goes.

The normal method is to use the following technique…

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator.

Feel free to use that method but I tend not to… Why? Because I want whatever entity I’m talking to to REMEMBER my pitch. Don’t you? Here’s what works for me… Just add one more movie to the mix.

Like this…

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets Starman.

See the difference? Okay, you don’t like that one… Here’s another.

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets Men in Black.

And another…

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets The Astronaut’s Wife.

I could of course go on and on but the idea here is to find that third movie that’s well known ENOUGH to give the usual movie comparison just a little more spin. Does it have to be within the same genre?

That’s the GOOD NEWS.

Nope.

Let’s see how it works again…

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets Memento.

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets The Fast and the Furious.

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets The Departed.

Do these three comparisons make you think about the non-existing screenplay just a little more? Maybe — maybe not. I gotta tell ya though… In MY EXPERIENCE, it works like a CHARM especially when that third movie is something just a little different.

The BAD NEWS?

Your movie better REALLY be like the three movies you’re comparing it to.

More good news?

Don’t know what to write? Need a new idea? No problem. Just use this same technique to help create a new idea for your next screenplay… But don’t just pick three and run with it. Pick three that you can really sink your teeth into. Pick three that get you motivated. Pick three that, as soon as you compare — BLOWS YOU AWAY.

Okay… Now here’s my icing on the cake. Again, some of you may not like this but what the hell… It works for me so I’m sharing since we’re sharing here… LOL.

Without.

Huh?

Let’s take the above examples…

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets Starman but without the… Just fill in the blank. I usually try to make that “fill in the blank” something funny just so my pitch gets remembered a little more easily and is DIFFERENT from the standard comparison pitch.

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets Starman but without the Prawns.

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets Men in Black but without the pug.

It’s District 9 meets The Terminator meets Signs but without the aluminum foil.

Again, that’s just my own formula… It works for me — it may work for you if you come up with the right set of films and withouts.

Putting it all together…

So you’re in the elevator or you’re about to write that query email… Here’s how it should sound and or look… Ahem.

Oops. You just fucked up. LOL. I wrote this to show you things can obviously go wrong… In other words, NEVER EVER say something in a movie was stupid because you never know for sure that the entity you’re speaking to is somehow connected to the movie you’re dissing. Trust me when I tell you that I am amazed time and time again at how closely all the entities I meet are ultimately connected in one way or another.

Here we go again…

I kill me. If it was only that easy… But hopefully, you get the point. In an email it’s very similar…

Before you send out your eQuery, do a little due diligence on your suspect/prospect. Let’s say it’s a producer. What have they produced? If all they’ve produced is romantic comedies in the last seven years, this might NOT be the producer to pitch American Alien to… Having said that, I don’t mean NEVER EVER pitch AA to him or her… Just not at the beginning of your eQuery pitching.

Find prodcos and producers who’ve made films in your genre to eQuery first… These will most likely give you the best overall results. You can always pitch producers of other genres somewhere down the line.

Here’s how I do it… Feel free to change it up a bit (or more) to match your own style.

Hi Jack, my name is Stevie Screenwriter and I just finished tweaking and polishing a screenplay I’ve been working on for the last year called:

AMERICAN ALIEN

A divorced mother falls for a hitman sent from another planet to assassinate a racist alien plotting to rid the earth of humans and together, they infiltrate the alien’s organization so they can defeat him.

American Alien is District 9 meets The Terminator meets Starman but without the prawns… LOL. AA is a fast and furious read — more thriller than horror but definitely a horror movie for racists.

I’d love to send it to you — as a hard copy or as a PDF to another email. I am only too happy to sign a release in order to protect you.

Thanks for your consideration,

Stevie Screenwriter

Now the bad news…

Don’t just write ONE of these pitches… Write at least five. Keep honing them and shortening them. Keep them as CONCISE as possible. I have always preferred to send eQueries out in the middle of the night.

Why?

Because believe it or not, I almost always LUCK OUT and find a producer who’s still UP burning the midnight oil. You want that. Why? Because many of them will reply back to you immediately which allows you to reply back to them. Back and forth your emails go until you either get on the phone or send them your screenplay as a PDF attachment.

Sure… Some of these late-nighters will tell you they’re not interested but my experience has been that the producers still working into the wee hours of the morning are usually very receptive to the well crafted eQuery.

I never send eQueries during the day. EVER. Why? Because they are tantamount to SPAM. Nobody likes getting an eQuery in the middle of the say while they’re working so don’t do it. Weekends are also good… Even during the day. I never send eQueries on Friday mornings either. The last thing these people have on their mind on a Friday morning is your screenplay.

So while you may not get the chance to actually perfect and perform an elevator pitch, you can always turn it into an eQuery. Even when a production company says in fact, that they do not want unsolicited submissions. If they like your eQuery pitch, your submission will no longer be unsolicited because they will ask you to send your screenplay to them.

Actors. You think a particular actor might like a character in your screenplay? Cool. Do some searches on Google. Find out if they have a production company. If so, find out if that production company has a website. If so, perform the following search in Google:

“@prodco.com”

Be sure to use the quotes before and after the search phrase… Now scroll through those results. I like to use the FIND utility to get through them fast… Just keep clicking until you find a real email address… I’m not saying to send your eQuery to that email address but that email address could very well reveal HOW the entities with this particular prodco manufacture their email addresses…

firstname.lastname@prodco.com

Or first initial and last name… flastname@prodco.com

Or just last name… lastname@prodco.com

Or just first name… firstname@prodco.com

These are the usual ways you’re going to find the emails… Always check out the ABOUT page of the prodco’s website to see WHO all the entities are. Don’t send an eQuery to their attorney… LOL. But yeah, send one to an assistant. Remember, that person probably does NOT want to stay an assistant for the rest of their life… And, if they can find the next hot property screenplay… They’ll probably get promoted. Which also brings up the fact that you can, with a little effort, find out who assistants are if you’re just creative with your searches. Assistants know other assistants too so if the entity THEY WORK FOR isn’t interested in your hot property screenplay (assuming it is a hot property), go ahead and ask them — AFTER THEY PASS — if they know anyone else that might be interested.

Yeah… This is the real shitty part about being a screenwriter. You can’t just write the damn thing and let it sit and wait for someone to love it as much as you do. You’ve GOT TO GET IT OUT THERE and not even an agent or manager will do as much as YOU CAN DO if you’re motivated and have a great screenplay.

Last but not least… Always ask for a REFERRAL.

Unk

EDIT: Just in case you missed it… In my eQuery, the tagline is “a horror movie for racists.” When do you use your tagline in the elevator pitch? When you NEED it. LOL.

Comments

• Find It

• Recently Written

  • What’s An Old Screenwriter To Do?
  • Here’s to 2010
  • You Don’t Make Me Feel
  • The Seven Rays Script-a-Scene Adaptation Competition
  • The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
  • The Elevator Pitch
  • New and Improved Questions
  • Get A Manager To Get An Agent?
  • Charlie Kaufman On Film
  • 7 Articles

• Screenwriting Discussion

  Forum

• Categories

  • Greatness
  • Movies
  • Screenwriting
    • Articles
    • Blogs
    • Books
    • Bullshit
    • Characters
    • Competition
    • High Concept
    • Mistakes
    • Questions
    • Rants
    • Structure
    • Tips
    • Tricks
    • Videos

• Screenwriting Stuff

  • Screenwriting Affirmations
  • Script Secrets
  • Word Play
  • Screenwriter's Utopia
  • StoryLink
  • Screenwriting Expo
  • Celtx
  • Cinergy
  • Zhura
  • Scripped
  • Plotbot
  • Script Buddy
  • StorYBook
  • FreeThesaurus.net
  • Mobysaurus
  • Open Office
  • Open Office Screenplay Template
  • Abiword
  • U.S. Copyright Form CO
  • U.S. Copyright Form CO Instructions
  • WGA West Registration
  • WGA East Registration
  • ScriptGirl
  • Simply Scripts

• Scribosphere

  • 101
  • Ann Wesley Hardin
  • Bamboo Killers
  • Brook Brannon
  • Burbanked
  • DanielMedley.com
  • Fencing With The Fog
  • Film Utopia
  • FILMMAKING STUFF
  • Go Into The Story
  • Holy Embers Of Dreams
  • I Write With Pictures
  • If It Ain’t On The Page
  • Johnny Atlas Writes
  • Living The Romantic Comedy
  • ME
  • Miscellanea 2.0
  • My Excellent Adventures
  • My Next One Will Be Better
  • Mystery Man On Film
  • Nicolle C. Jones
  • Our Man In Los Angeles
  • Paul Zadie
  • Pro Screenplays
  • Revealing Of The Soul
  • Screamwriter
  • Screenwriting For Hollywood
  • Screenwriting Manifesto
  • Script Doctor Eric
  • Script Notes
  • Sex In A Sub
  • Shouting Into The Wind
  • The Moviequill
  • The Scherer Joy Of Writing
  • The Screenwriter’s League
  • The Unemployment Cafe
  • Uninflected Images Juxtaposed
  • Writer Joshua James
  • Writing On Spec

• Most Popular Posts

  • Spelling sound effects: Onomatopoeia
  • Hit me with your best subplot...
  • Hamartia
  • The Central Question Part 2
  • Knowledge Without Thought
  • The Central Question
  • The Hero vs. The Anti-Hero Protagonist
  • The Elevator Pitch
  • British Feature Screenplay Competition
  • I bow to greatness...

• Monthly Archives

  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • September 2007
  • August 2007
  • July 2007
  • June 2007
  • May 2007
  • April 2007
  • March 2007
  • February 2007
  • January 2007
  • December 2006
  • November 2006
  • October 2006
  • September 2006
  • August 2006
  • July 2006
  • June 2006
• • 
• • 

©2006-2009 The Unknown Screenwriter All Rights Reserved