Damned immigration crap is posing as an additional gatekeeper.

http://carloconda.blogspot.com/2008/05/hello-brick-wall.html

My funk is that I finally grew the balls to leave my cheating whore wife so I could concentrate on an upcoming short film competition I’m trying to submit to, but I didn’t realize what a lengthy and time-consuming process actually breaking up would be. So now I’m under the gun rushing to finish the material I want to submit in time. Ah well, better than being in a creatively stifling relationship.

I’m banging my head over a failed hard drive. It wasn’t just a screenplay or some photos that I lost… I lost my entire film. A feature. low budget, 30K. Shot on HD with motion picture 35mm lenses. Stunningly beautiful, potential to be something really cool, a screenplay I wrote and directed over the course of two years… gone. Because we were idiots and bought a raid-0 drive. Because we were idiots and took too long in data backup and the damned thing kicked the bucket ironically while doing backup. Data recovery could do nothing. It’s gone. The drive’s a brick and I’m facing a reshoot of everything next year… once we get our funding again, of course.

So that, my friend, is why I’m banging my head.

But, the silver lining is that I’m rewriting the script now, and it’s already 100 times better. I guess there’s a reason for everything…

I’m right there with you except instead of teaching myself 3-D or learning Italian, I usually just spend my time on Boing Boing or some other internet time waste. Also, I complain about my job…a lot!

My funk’s incredibly simple… I’m throwing away a potentially brilliant career through a combination of self-doubt and procrastination. I’ve got a total of five screen-plays in various stages of development and if I focussed on anyone of them, the confident part of me believes I’ll make a sale… so, instead of picking one of them and just getting on with it I teach myself 3D animation; and, when I get solid with that I get a sudden urge to master Apple Motion… and to set up a Fringe Fashion show in Milan… and write a book about how to make cinema quality feature films on a $1000 budget… and watch the entire first three series of House, whilst trying to master Italian.

And the truth is… all of this is just running away from putting myself in the market, because as long as I don’t put myself out there I can hang onto the illusion that I’m an undiscovered talent (which I am).

Other than that everything is fantastic… Oh, and I’ve started roller blading at the age of 47 and have already smashed one hand to a pulp.

Iam.

Unk

karmen