Share your funk…
Posted on April 9, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized
Okay… Here you go. This is your chance to share your funk. I’ve been in a funk lately and you guys truly are helping me get out of it… I woke up with more energy today than I’ve had in quite a while. Things are clearer today and I even woke up to find out that we have a major star that’s going to be in one of our flicks. We’ve been trying to find a lead for over two years now and today was the day.
So maybe… Just maybe there’s something to sharing this shit with others who share the passion of screenwriting and okay… Other writers too… LOL. Hear that Ann?
I don’t care what it is… If you wanna share, here’s your chance. Just drop that SHIT right here in a comment. Get it off your shoulders. Let us fuck with you about it… LOL.
Wanna tell off your boss? A parent? A sibling? Me? Go ahead. I can take it.
I don’t care how fuckin’ long it is…
Go for it.
Unk
Comments
79 Responses to “Share your funk…”
Leave a Reply
Probably won’t be attending University next year.
Big deal is big.
i know u wont believ this but I read yer shits every day unk. u member me from the thng u rote about smkin joe? u got me rting my 1st script og so pleeze dont stop.
my fUNK is that my boyz dont think i can rite. i dont have no one to read my shits.
would you read it unk?
tabre
Long time lurker here Unk. Yes, what Tabre said, please don’t stop the blog. I’ve gotten more information, tips, and inspiration from this site than any book, article, or other screenwriting site that I’ve visited.
So here is my funk:
I am really sick and tired of my Dad telling me to give up screenwriting. Hell, I’m 36 and my Dad keeps telling me I’m wasting my time. I work and support my family so shouldn’t my free time be my own? I even do the honeydo lists for God’s sake. I make sure everyone is taken care of before I sit down to write. Screenwriting is my dream and yes, I would eventually like to sell a screenplay but I am still at the learning stage so this new world is really amazing to me. I feel like a sponge soaking all this up and it makes me feel good. My wife is a little supportive but not really where I would like her to be. As long as I’ve taken care of everything that is on the list, she seems to be ok with the writing. It wasn’t until I literally stumbled across your site that I started understanding screenwriting a lot more and after over a year of reading your stuff, I feel like I have a better handle on it than ever. But I am still funky becdause at least once or twice a week, my father tells me to give it all up and work more hours or go out and get more education. Nobody cares what I want.
Ok, I’m done. Thanks. Erndoggie.
Carlo,
Does not attending University next year have you in a funk? Or, is it a decision you’ve mulled around for awhile now?
tabre… Holy shit. You’re writing a screenplay? If I remember correctly, didn’t you want to TAKE ME OUT? LOL. Dude… Tell you what… You start checking your typos and spelling errors on these comments, pull up your pants, and when I see some proof, I’ll read your shits.
Erndoggie,
Hmmm. I know an Erndog. At least that’s what I call him but your emails are different. Dude… Been there DONE THAT. If screenwriting is your DREAM, you gotta tell your Dad to take a fuckin’ walk.
I wholeheartedly believe is sitting those you support down and discuss your dreams… Assuming of course you want to make them a REALITY. Get them on board or at least try but of course, you’ve got to try and make some headway i.e., develop and create some short term and long term screenwriting goals and then formulate a plan to achieve those goals by a specified date. That is… Everything but selling a script.
You can’t really control the selling of your material but you can control when you get it out there to the market.
Good stuff guys… Thanks for sharing.
Unk
I live in Los Angeles and my boyfriend and I are screenwriting partners but he hates everything I write and when we finally go through everything I have written and rewritten it, it always ends up looking like he wrote it. We’ve actually been fairly close to getting one of our scripts optioned and when we were that close, I didn’t really feel like I was still his partner. I keep thinking when we finally do get something sold or optioned, he’s going to say it was all him. This has gotten me so stressed out that I am now questioning our entire relationship. He’s not working but I am. In fact, I support both of us and he writes all day. I guess what bothers me the most is that most if not all of my story ideas make it into our screenplay but just rewritten so it’s his style. I keep thinking I should just let him have everything we’ve done so far because I really don’t want to fight about it. Then kick him out and start writing my own stuff. I won’t ask you what you think I should do but I wouldn’t mind knowing what you think.
Lacie
Another long time lurker here Unknown. This reall hits me at just the right time because I’m a low-budget filmmaker here in Hollywood and I am finally starting to see the light. Meaning that my films just aren’t good enough. I have the technical aspects down and though I shoot digital video, all my stuff looks like film.
But I’m finally beginning to understand that I can’t write worth shit. I can see now that it’s more the story than it is the technical aspects I’m really good at.
This has gotten me in quite a funk really because on one hand, I want to direct my own stuff. On the other hand, my stuff stinks. It looks good but it stinks.
I know now that I need to sit down and learn all this screenwriting stuff before anything good is going to happen with my stuff and by the time I figure that out, most of my equipment is going to be old and dusty. A rather large $40,000.00 mistake that I really cannot afford.
So I am funky.
Marcus
Okay.
You asked for this.
Are you ready? I’m gonna share my funk.
I hate to admit it. Because it makes me feel, I dunno . . . big-headed or egotistically or whatever . . . nothing worse than a writer sounding off about themselves . . . well, there are worse things, but you get what I’m saying . . .
Here’s my funk - I’m frustrated as hell with the traction I get in the industry . . . I get little traction, and it’s been hard even to get an agent to MEET with me despite having a couple of scripts with attachments going out . . . and so going . . .
I’m frustrated because I know I got game, I know I got as good as game as anyone else playing out there - I don’t think I’m LeBron James or an All-Star as a writer, not yet, but I think I’m good enough to take the court against him or anyone . . .
I’m frustrated because I wanna play in the Big Dance and mostly I’m getting pickup games for change . . .
I’m frustrated cause I know I can go big and wide but first I gotta get on the court.
Now here’s where I acknowledge I’m lucky . . . I’m lucky that I’ve actually been paid to write . . . I’m lucky in that people actually do read my work . . . and out of the 15 or so scripts I’ve read, five or six of them have been optioned at one point or another -
And here’s where I know everyone says - Just Keep Writing (like I am even able to stop, heh) . . . I know that . . . I know I’m living the dream . . . I admit that up front.
But that doesn’t stop me from getting frustrated because I think I can do better but in order to do better I gotta get into the rooms and to get into the rooms you gotta have an agent and to get an agent, you gotta get into the room . . .
That doesn’t stop me from being in a funk when I see playwrights I knew back in the day who basically SUCK at the craft and they’re now supervising producers on a couple network TV shows . . .
That doesn’t stop me from worrying about money now that I got a kid and remembering so much of this biz has very little to do with how well my script is written, even though mostly what I care about is that the script is well written . . .
I get in a funk when I remember what I learned when I worked in casting, that talent is good but access is better . . . no matter how good you are, if you’re not getting into the right rooms on a regular basis, no one knows or cares who you are . . . and I know my access as a writer is between slim and thin . . .
But lemme tell ya . . . once I get regular access to the rooms, lemme tell ya . . . you’re gonna hear some sonic frackin’ booms, baby . . . I ain’t doin’ this just for me anymore, I got family . . .
That’s my funk . . . the typical writerly whiny bullshit about how “I deserve more” and blah-blah-blah and it makes me sick to even admit it, it does, I’m telling ya, I’m totally on the verge of blowing chunks . . . I can’t believe I even shared it . . .
But okay. I did it. I ‘fessed up.
Now forget I said anything . . .
I fuckin’ hate the Chicago Weather…it’s really been fucking up my sleeping patterns, I mean it was great for two days and now it’s a forecast of rain for the next two weeks — don’t get me wrong, I love rain cause it makes a good time to read a book, but I hate it when I have nothing to read and or write.
So there that is…
Mike J.
“You Suck at Screenwritng”
Lacie,
Let me tell you what I told Erndoggie… Tell your boyfriend to take a walk… Now I’m just guessing here but it sounds like you’ve already made your decision. Sounds like you’ve already terminated your relationship where it counts…
In your head.
So just keep thinking those thoughts and the rest of you will follow suit.
But that AIN’T ADVICE… LOL.
Marcus,
Welcome to the fuckin’ club! I started out as a no-budget filmmaker and I do intend to eventually direct my own stuff. But you are (in my own super-fucking-humble opinion) absolutely correct. Everybody and their brother has access to equipment but equipment doesn’t mean shit unless you’ve got a great story. Plus, it sounds like you are really wrapped up in your equipment so this revelation of yours is actually profound.
But let me throw this at you… What about going ahead and shooting shit for others while you BUST YOUR FUCKING ASS for the next year learning how to write? Yes, it can be done in a year but that part is up to you my brother…
Josh, Josh, Josh…
Been there done that — lived it.
I don’t want to comment specifically about what you’re saying because I am not being specific… But you say you got game.
In other words… Your game is up to snuff. It works. But is it absolutely as good as it can be? Is there no room for any kind of improvement?
I know that can be a fucking TOUGH question to answer for yourself. I go through it every day and my answer is always, “Nope, it sure as hell ain’t as good as it can be.”
So instead of writing something new, I go back to the fuckin’ drawing board. Back to those screenplays that I was passionate about but haven’t sold.
Yet.
Why? Because of the concept. If the concept still works me into a frenzy like it did in the beginning, then it’s still worth fixing.
Again.
And again.
And again.
For instance, I saw a really shitty movie last night on some satellite channel. I can’t even remember the name of it and I could only watch 20 minutes but the opening scene caused me to consider a new opening scene in the script that I sold.
So after getting the news that we’ve got a lead for one of our other projects, I discussed the new opening scene idea with the head honcho.
He loved it.
No here’s the point… The opening scene isn’t even really a NEW opening scene. It’s already in the script but just further IN. When I saw this shitty little horror movie, my heart fucking LEAPED. The scene from the horror movie is/was nothing like my screenplay but that scene caused me to revisualize my script by pushing this other scene into the beginning and starting from there.
I’m certainly not telling you to do this. What I am saying however, is that I want my shit to be as good as it can be. Head honcho cannot fucking believe that I am willing to make this change for FREE. No other screenwriter that he’s worked with (and he is also a screenwriter himself) has ever been willing to keep improving their script(s) for free.
Don’t get me wrong… I know you well enough to know that you’d do the same thing for free IF you thought it would improve your current draft. At least I think I know you that well.
The TRICK in my opinion however, is knowing and acknowledging that your game can be improved.
Anything that can get that game way above the baseline is definitely food for thought.
I’m just sayin’…
You Suck at Screenwriting,
Interesting handle you’ve got there…
Hmmm. What do I like about Chicago. Only one thing. Chicago dialect.
So there that is… LOL.
Unk
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who’s having issues with writing. Am completely stuck right now.
I don’t have much to complain about. I try to stay positive about things. But - today at work, some flower delivery girl hit my Mustang. My boyfriend and his friend watched the whole thing including her trying to get my red paint off her delivery truck. Got her plate and called her business.
I went to Jones West Ford for an estimate for the 2 deep scratches on my bumper - $552.11. You read that correctly. Just so annoyed; I love my convertible. Ugh.
But on the upside, I’m still waiting to find out if I’m nominated for an Edward R. Murrow Award for my station’s website and an Emmy for three shows I produced last year. Would make up for me losing this year’s NCAA pool!
Funky Monkey Unky, yeah. Back in the saddle and blogging the good blog. Excellence. This blog has been my number 1 source for screenwriting inspiration since I found it. It’s changed the way I think about screenwriting and the whole film process. Crazy.
As for my funk, I hate the fact that I work down the office from a production company and I’m still not running one. I need to double my income just to be able to START paying off debt before I can even think about selling my soul for some fancy prosumer HD cam and an imported pound of rich Swiss chocolate, as well as a stockpile of assorted liquors.
I keep applying to positions posted online and getting no response. I’m thinking of manipulating my resume’s wordings to make it sound more impressive without directly lying.
After all, I was voted Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. Did I mention I was given the “Award of Excellence 2005″? You’ve never heard of the award of excellence? Well, it’s given out by the queen. The queen who hooks for a living down at Church and Gerrard. They call her the queen because she has no pimp, and she carries around this bamboo stick… argh.
I hate politics, I hate religion, I hate cynical bastards, I hate time (not space though, love space), and I hate hate itself.
But I don’t actually exist (I’m actually the smartest, most advanced spam bot ever!), so congrats on getting your star for your flick and thanks for the blog!
Another lurker here. Here’s my funk. I’m a screenwriter and a stripper. The strip club I work at gets a lot of hollywood types and I will be honest here. When you think one of these hollywood types is really going to read your screenplay, you start seeing yourself in a completely different light. You even strat thinking that this guy is really different for a change meaning he doesn’t just want to get in yoru pants but in the end that;s always what it is. they just want to do all kinds of things to you. Like joshua said, Ithink I got game. I dance to put food on the table and never really thought of parlaying that into a screenwriting gig and now its probly to late. So how do you get these iddots to take you seriously?
pgMary
Hey Unk,
Just to clarify . . . I ain’t saying I cannot improve my game . . . not at all . . . we’re totally on the same page . . . and I will do stuff for free, and totally have, when it’s the right thing to do, just like you shared . . . I’ve done that exact thing.
But I’ve worked hard enough to know I got game . . . I to know that I can’t stop busting my ass.
And part of the constant repetition of this ass-busting work is what lends me the confidence to look a guy in the eye and say, “I can write it. I can make that story work for you” and prove it . . . which is how I got my first union gig.
But I ain’t stopping there . . .
Every script I have that I circulate I constantly rework and retool . . . I dig into the stuff, just as you say, and I constantly work at doing stuff that at one point I may have pooh-poohed about (MM has sold me on format, for example) and while I don’t check my own sense of tone, story and rhythm (every writer’s individual voice) I do QUESTION is always, and always ask what I can do to do better . . . why else would I be here heckling ya with love if it wasn’t to improve and learn?
I mean, I love ya, but you are still Unknown, right?
Because (and this is YOUR point, one I got from YOU first) the pros we ADMIRE never stop trying to improve their game . . . never . . .
Jordan always added facets to his game EVEN AFTER HE WON TITLES . . . Jordan busted his ass constantly, the day after the playoffs were over and his team was knocked out, he was in the gym.
Anything he needed to work on, he did.
He wasn’t an outside shooter?
Worked on this threes and jumper until he was deadly.
Only scored, couldn’t defend? Worked it until he won Defensive player of the year.
Never passed? Worked it until his assists went up.
So yeah, I fully admit I’m not the best I can be, not yet, and I won’t be the best I can possibly be until I’m dead . . . because I ain’t never gonna just sit and rest on my laurels . . . I am not going to stop trying to improve.
But I do maintain I’m good enough to play with anyone . . . you asked for my FUNK, and that’s what is is, - LOL!
Does it mean I’ll win a title first time out? Long shot, but whatever happens I know I’ll learn from it . . . and just playing on those courts is a learning experience for the smart player . . .
It was my funk, for better or worse, and as I said, I was almost too ashamed to admit it. I know, it’s the same old whiny bullshit from most writers, I know, and I almost didn’t write it.
But hell, if a man can’t admit his shortcomings and face up to ‘em, he’s in for a clouded future . . .
Now excuse me while I go hurl some inner indignity into a toilet.
Mary,
Now don’t get pissed at me… Just playing Devil’s Advocate here.
I am assuming you meet these idiots at your strip club… At least I am surmising that from your comment.
Correct?
So now… Let us consider — just for a minute — the mindset these idiots are in when they come to your club. Are they there to work?
Probably not.
My GUESS is that they are there to see you and your associates do your thing.
So now we’ve got this dynamic going… These guys want to get lucky. They tell you and your associates that they are “in the business.” More than likely, they tell you that they’re producers.
And maybe they are but a lot of guys in Los Angeles spout that line as easy as they take a fucking breath.
The trick is to know who’s telling you the truth.
Having said that… Take it from me when I tell you that producers rarely conduct REAL BUSINESS at a strip club. We may take certain actors there from time to time because that’s really their bag but truly, we’re just fuckin’ babysitters.
In other words, think about this just for one more minute… You’re stripping… Maybe performing a lap dance and during this, you’re attempting to tell some maybe-maybe not producer that you’re a screenwriter and you’d really like him to read your work.
Sorry. I had to stop for a few seconds because after writing what I just wrote, I had to laugh out-fucking loud.
Get it? Is it not perspicuous?
I’ve always wanted to use that word in a sentence…
Unk
Start rant
Fucking day job. I love being a programmer but right now I can’t get the time I need to wind down and actually finish more screenplays after work.
Unfortunately, it’s a very technical job and a few months ago when I tried to write after work, I found that I was slipping at work - my brain actually caught on fire. I’ve become used to a certain lifestyle so quitting my job is not that easy.
I just wish that I could sell my blog - or my several not-quite finished scripts - and get a job writing for enough money so I can take a leave of absence and not lose my apartment. I’ve got savings for a few months but that’s more pressure than I want.
And then NYC is driving me crazy. I was just in LA and it was so CLEAN I hate Manhattan now. Let’s not even talk about Brooklyn.
ANd my current assignment should be over but some untruthful Indian guys who were supposed to replace me screwed up and I got called back. BASTARDS. FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT RESUME FAKERS.
And the code I have to support is so amateurish, I could kill someone. And they won’t let me change it. CRAP.
Plus, I never know when I will be working so it’s useless to try and start writing in a script because I like to prepare for every page before I write it.
I’m behind on my slasher movie, fantasy comedy, SEAL team movie and my political thriller - AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO READ THEM. FUCKING, FUCKING SHIT CRAP ASS CRACK.
I haven’t been able to finish reading my required “at-home-MFA” books and it sucks.
At least I get to vent here right now. Everyone hope for this assignment to end without another one starting before June.
DID I SAY FUCKING SHIT?
Oh and for those who can,
Keep writing as writing is the revealing of the soul.
Kellene,
At least you’ve got the culprit. I know how it is. I have a vehicle with uni-body construction that was rear-ended recently and of course their insurance company wants to bend and bondo everything back into place.
Ain’t happenin’…
Good luck on the Emmy!
Spat,
The Award of Excellence 2005? Does that means you are no longer excellent since we are now in 2008?
Spruce that résumé up Baby… Above the baseline.
paigowMary,
Thanks for the email. I’ll get back to you. LOL.
Josh,
I guess what I was attempting to say was that I don’t necessarily believe in JUST KEEP ON WRITING. To me, “keep on writing” means going on to the next project and while I have done that, I live every fucking day with those NAGGING feelings that my shit could be better. So I’m always keeping my SYNAPSES open to that kind of stimulation and as soon as I get a revelation, I MOVE ON IT.
Because when you got game and make it even higher, people notice and shit happens.
I am not however, saying that you should work on those screenplays forever… Just keep them INCUBATING for improvement. If you’re doing that AND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE, access is right around the corner.
Whew… I have more comments to UNSPAM.
Unk
I honestly can’t say I’m in a funk (and I can say with certainly being very well acquainted with funks — I know when I’m not in one). It might be because my brain chemistry is messed up today, but I feel good. Recently finished work on a script that, for the first time in my 10 years of writing, I actually think is good enough to try and shop. Worked with a consultant pretty intensively and he agrees, so I at least one “professional” in agreement. Been entering it in contests, and am considering writing a query letter for it, but would almost rather wait til the fall to see how it does in the contests.
Aside from that, working on an outline for a new script that’s a lot more fun than the one i just worked on. So, feeling pretty good right now…
I guess my funk would be knowing that becoming a professional screenwriter is still a LONG shot. But I’m happy with my stuff right now, so don’t really care about that at the moment.
Mike J,
In Chicago too, and I agree, the weather is f*cked.
Christian,
NOW THAT’S A GODDAMN FUNK! Geez, being a programmer and proficient with the internet equals MONEY. Why aren’t you working for yourself?
By the way… I have several friends that have quit their jobs and write bullshit articles for web sites and make more money now than they did in their old jobs. One guy makes between $5K and $6K a month just writing bullshit 250 word articles about BULLSHIT. They pay him to post on his blog and of course he gets paid writing the articles on their sites too.
He’s trying to become a screenwriter by the way… He WHIPS these articles out in less than an hour and gets to writing the real stuff.
Tom,
Non-funks are always welcome. Hey, if you get a chance and it’s convenient for you, maybe you can talk about working with your consultant.
To me — ASSUMING YOU CAN FIND A GOOD ONE — this is one of the ways to get your screenwriting on the fast track. I never had the money to work with one but I know several pro screenwriters who STILL work with them and swear by them.
I would simply chalk it up as an investment in yourself which is ALWAYS GOOD.
Unk
Christ I love this! Love your site Unk. Just love it. recently joined a screenwriting group and everybody in the group is addicted to it. If you’re ever in Austin, we’d love to have you stop by — we’ll BEER YOU UP BIG TIME!
MY FUNK IS THAT MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR HAS A CHIHUAHUA THAT NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP. I HAVE RESORTED TO SCREAMING AND YELLING OUT MY WINDOW AND THESE NEIGHBORS JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT. AS IF THAT’S NOT BAD ENOUGH, THEY LEAVE THE LITTLE FUCKER OUTSIDE ALL DAY WHILE THEY ARE AT WORK. I WORK OUT OF MY HOME AND THE LITTLE SON-OF-A-BITCH KEEPS ON BARKING ALL GOD DAM DAY LONG! IT REALLY STRESSES ME OUT BECAUSE I WANT TO KILL THE LITTLE COCKSUCKER BUT I KNOW IT’S NOT REALLY HIS FAULT SO I JUST KEEP LISTENING TO THE FUCKING BARKING. HELL, YOU CAN’T EVEN REALLY CALL IT BARKING. IT’S SOME KIND OF FUCKING HIGH-PITCHED YELPING. ON AND ON AND ON AND ON IT GOES. DAY AND NIGHT. I HAVE TALKED TO THEM AND THEY COULD CARE LESS. I HAVE CALLED THE POLICE AND THEY TALK TO THE NEIGHBORS BUT THE DOG STILL FUCKING YELPS ALL GOD DAM DAY AND ALL GOD DAM NIGHT.
NEDDIE
yo unks come one. read my shits will ya.? I pulled my pants up a long time ago.
tabre
Ah, Unk, Okay . . . I got it.
It ain’t enough to work hard . . . you gotta work hard and smart at the same time . . .
That’s gold, babe . . .
And sweet Jesus, I want one of those blogging jobs that pay 5K a month - I do mine for free, for fuck’s sake. I can crank out little articles faster than you can say Obama For President . . .
Lacie:
Excuse me if I sound insensitive, but you describe that you’re *feeling* stressed out because of a *feeling* you have. Which doesn’t seem to have any basis in any actual real-life events, at least none that you’ve described.
If in your partnership you work more and he writes more, then it’s no wonder that he’s the one to actually write the ideas down — these things will sound as if he wrote them, because he did write them. Because you were, at the time, working.
Right now you’re working to support the two of you and he’s writing. If you kicked him out, you’d still have little to no time to write and he’d be forced to get a job, leaving him with little to no time to write as well. What’s more, the quality of your individual writing would plummet. He wouldn’t have your ideas to work with and you wouldn’t have his sheer experience of writing these things down.
I would recommend that you actually *talk* to the guy about your fears and do more writing on your joint projects so they’d feel more like your own babies. Consider writing up a little contract that says that you both have joint ownership on these projects. Have him sign it. Or perhaps have him get a part-time job so that you could downgrade to a part-time job as well.
People nowadays split up too easily and don’t take the time to communicate and try to solve their problems. Yes, splitting up is a valid solution, but it shouldn’t be the first or second or third solution you think of when you have problems. Should be waaay down the list.
It’s hard to understand until a couple of people you love dump you for trivial reasons that they blew up in their mind, because they didn’t take the time to actually talk and discuss. And then they hide behind crap like “love can’t be negotiated and I don’t love you anymore, because you sneeze in public” or someshit like that.
I normally wouldn’t give a shit — it’s your life and people learn best from their own mistakes — but you might be losing a writing partnership that produces better stuff than either of you could do on your own.
Yeah, I’m gonna have to disagree with Unk on this :P
I just found out my wife is cheating on me. I’m an executive recruiter in Reno, Nevada. I make over $250K a year. She’s been fucking a guy who runs a projector at a local theeater here. It turns out that she sneaks away during the day while the kids are at school and fucks this guy in the projection booth. She just told me this garbage before I went to work. I’m at the Sundowner Casino right now getting ready to gamble a pile of money away. In fact, after I gamble here, I am making the rounds everywhere. I don’t care how much I lose. I don’t care if she lives or dies. I only care about my children but to be honest, they are so spoiled that I don’t even think they would miss me if we get a divorce. You can’t make this shit up.
Rick
Rick,
I feel for you. I’m on my third wife and it isn’t getting any better which is in fact, my funk for the day.
My wife has a good job but can’t write all the reports she needs to have in by certain dates of every month. I am always writing these reports for her. I wouldn’t mind it so much but she doesn’t care. She’s not realy grateful. She totally expects it now because I continue to bail her out every month.
I am sitting here right this very minute working on thse reports for her and she’s out with a couple of girlfriends watching 21.
I’d like to be watching 21 but I’m not. I am doing her reports. I should be working on my screenplay but I am working on her reports.
So what I think I will do this time around is do them wrong.
Thansk Unk.
JackBrass
“To me — ASSUMING YOU CAN FIND A GOOD ONE — this is one of the ways to get your screenwriting on the fast track.”
Completely agree. I would recommend it for any aspiring writer (or working writer, even) for a couple reasons:
A) I think it’s probably rare for a writer to nail a script completely on their, without any feedback. It’s probably rarer for non-professionals to do so. So, not only do you need feedback, but you need feedback from someone who knows what the hell their talking about. The guy i use is a retired producer, and he reads a script as if he were handed it and told, “get this ready to be filmed.” That kind of insight is invaluable, I think.
B) This kind of goes hand-in-hand with the first point: even the most critical writers (non-professional at least) will play up the good parts of a script in their head and ignore the weaker elements… thinking the strong parts of the script are enough the carry the not-so-strong. A consultant will shatter your illusions of grandeur and tell you what CRITICAL elements of your script need work – and actually, what I’ve really learned is that EVERY element of a script is critical.
C) When I sent the script to my guy, I think it was the second draft and I thought I had pretty much nailed it. Right now, I’m on the sixth draft. There was a large gap between what I thought I had done and what I had done. A consultant will help close that gap. Until you know how to get there, you don’t know how to get there. A consultant — a good one at least — has been there and will help you figure out how to get there as well.
And I really don’t know if I’m actually “there” yet, (i’ll know that when I have a paycheck in hand) but I’m a hell of a lot closer than I was 4 months or 5 months ago. And I already know that the experience of working with a consultant will help me out on future scripts — it’s exactly like your baseline analogy. I feel my baseline has been raised through the experience.
Im tired of my older brother thinking he knows everything there is to know about our dads business. My dad dumped our mom for a younger woman. Im alwayslate to work and I dont care anymore. I make good money but I really dont like the work. I lvove my brother and dad but since my brother sides with my dad I feel like I need to support my mom. Things are getting too big for everyone and knobody is the same anymore. I miss the old days.
mikey
Dang, Rick, I think you win the funk contest. I’m about to go out on a bender just because I read your post!
But that’s rough. Blow off some steam, but don’t do anything too dumb… as a friend recently told me “this too shall pass.”
About me funk then. I have philosophical problems.
I’m not the greatest-looking bloke in the world. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m realistically about 6 without any specific features that would get some subset of women crazy about me. (No puppy eyes or square jaw or giant schlong or anything like that.)
And I’m not the most social person in the world. Which means I was pretty late to the whole dating scene and wasn’t really good at it. So I studied psychology and NLP and all those other things until I had a sort of Neo in The Matrix moment of starting to see green code everywhere.
I think it’s sort of like when you study screenwriting structure and start seeing films in a completely different way. Some people say it ruins movies and TV for them as they’re able to predict plot twists and the shape of the thing. A certain child-like enjoyment dies within you that day.
Much of the same thing happened when I began to understand what makes humans in general and women in particular tick.
It would be quite easy to take this knowledge and use it to my advantage, and indeed I have done that in the past, but being in control without the other person consciously understanding it… feels bad. It feels like I’m (ab)using them. Pedophiles are criticized for taking advantage of children who don’t understand what they’re doing. My experience in the adult world isn’t so different from what a child molester would probably experience. I feel like a dirty son of a bitch for doing these things, so I mostly don’t.
Yeah, it sounds like bragging, but it’s really not. Unk, you’ve studied the craft of screenwriting to a level where you can easily spot mistakes in newbie scripts. I dare not say I have a similar level of understanding of psychology, but almost. Difference is: being able to write a great screenplay is a positive thing, manipulating other people… not so much.
On the rare occasions when I get into social situations, I have pretty good control over my behavior. People tell me to “be myself”… Well, when I can see that “being myself” would not be a good thing for me, I tend to freeze up. If I go with “being myself” and, predictably, something suffers because of it, I feel like a shitty bastard. I could have avoided it! But if I consciously choose some kinda behavior that’s more lucrative for me, I feel like a manipulative bastard. So I end up avoiding social situations. Which causes depression. Which is a state I’ve been in for over a year now.
Back when I was still testing my “powers”, I managed to talk myself into a position of partner at two different companies… on job interviews… without any relevant work experience in the field… I still feel like shit for doing that.
If this isn’t the most original funk you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is. But it’s a real thing. On average it takes me about 3 attempts to get out of bed every morning. I don’t want to partake in the world. The only way one could have this kind of knowledge and not freeze up would be if one was a sociopath. Which I try hard not to be.
And, yes, dear reader. I fully understand that you have just formed a really negative opinion of me by now in order to avoid me in the future. You will probably try to laugh it all off or you might lash out in a more aggressive way and attempt to marginalize me in this social group. Don’t bother. I’m not a threat to you.
Anyway, that’s my funk.
My funk is the opposite of Joshua’s… I don’t know if I have the skills or the talent or the work-ethic or the straight-up BALLS to make it anywhere, as a writer or as a director or as a 2nd 2nd Assistant Towel Bitch.
I go to film school in Orlando, and I wrote a pretty damn kickass short script for our final project. It’s my best work yet. I’m proud of it. But then when it came time to pitch the script, I completely fucked it up. I was nervous. I didn’t seem to know what I wanted. I had no confidence.
Long story short, they didn’t pick my script. So now instead of being director on a story that I’m crazy about, where I know everything and everyone comes to me, I am fucking Makeup assistant on a fucking SHIT script about fucking racists in the fifties.
Now, I’m all for writing about things that matter to you. But if you’re gonna cover a subject as delicate and complex as racism, you better have something to fucking say. When you can sum up your movie as, “The white man is the devil,” something is seriously wrong. Everyone *knows* the white man is the devil. Especially the white man. He doesn’t need a movie to tell him that.
So there was that rejection. Then I took a thousand-mile road trip up to Indiana, specifically to get out of my funk. I wanted to see a friend and I wanted to see a girl. Well, the friend was awesome but the girl didn’t have time to see me. So there’s another rejection on top of that.
Meanwhile, the month of classes before the final project starts suck balls. We have Art History, where I know more than the teacher - (I literally stood up to answer a question when she couldn’t) - and Media and Society, which is like demons shoving fucking SERRATED DINOSAUR TEETH up my ASSHOLE.
And I was in such a funk from the two rejections, and from the shittiness, that I didn’t do the fucking bullshit for the shitty classes, and now it looks like I’ll have to take the dinosaur-tooth class over again, meaning I’ll be stuck here in fucking Orlando for another month, doing nothing but bullshit that I hate, while my soul wilts a little more every day I stay in this smelly fucking City of Ignorant Fucks.
And every bit of it is my own god damn fucking fault. That’s the bitch of it. I could have just done the preparation and pitched it like a pro, and I’d be all set. At least then if they didn’t pick mine, it’d be because they were the asshole, not me.
So here’s me, wanting to be a screenwriter, and I’m so obsessed with my own damn failings that I haven’t even been writing anymore. I can’t look at that blank page without seeing all my damn demons looking back at me.
So that’s my funk. I’m a twenty-year-old virgin screenwriter, in every possible damn sense of that term, and I have been letting every failure in life define me to the point where I can’t even imagine anything better anymore.
But you know what? Just actually giving myself the chance to bitch about it, kind of just broke me out of it a little. What the fuck am I thinking, I’m a shitty writer because a crap script got chosen and not mine? I had all the same opportunities that asshole had, and I wrote a better script. Fuck - the only reason I’m not in the director’s chair now is because some teacher made a bad call.
When I really think about it, I’ll get another chance. Shit, I’ll get plenty of other chances. I haven’t even started learning yet. I can make this script better, maybe even make a feature out of it. And in the end, the world benefits because it gets to see what I can make when I’m not fucking shooting myself in the fucking foot.
Thank you for the catharsis.
Rick: I feel for you and you gotta be prepared for what’s to come. She’ll file for divorce, which means she’ll take half of what you two jointly own. Since you went to gamble away your money after you found out, she can sue you for half of your gambling losses. She’ll also take about half of your salary ($125k a year isn’t bad) as alimony. And because you gamble, she’ll claim bad parenting on your part and get a restraining order against you so you probably won’t get to see your kids again. 2009 will probably be a better year for you. Hang in there.
Where to start. Where to start. Hmmm. Might as well just dive on in.
I write romantic comedy. Really good romantic comedy, btw. Mystery Man says so!
I’m published, which is wonderful. I have a great boyfriend, my kids are super and I have a neat-o apartment smack in the middle of a boho, funky town.
However.
I grew up with two brothers and a sister. Both brothers are dead — one from alcoholism and the other from a violent suicide. Currently, my sister has stage 3 ovarian cancer. Mom is a mess and to top it off, my dog is very sick.
All my siblings died/got sick in their early fifties. I’m in my late forties. Hmmm. But that’s not the worst of it.
The worst is feeling so alone and vulnerable. I mean, writers thrive on communication, of being known.
All the people who know me are dead, ancient, or very, very ill. Except for my boyfriend and my mother’s incredible 90 year old boyfriend, there are no men in my life. Maybe it’s my generation — but I think it’s more biology and natural balance — that I miss the men.
They gave me strength, with that unique, brusque love only men can give. Suicide trauma aside (took me three years to feel good after that so please, please don’t do this to your fam)I’d barely kinda gotten used to having just me, mom and sis around. Then sis went terminal.
But like Unk’s dove, it was my dog that sent me over the edge. And that brings us to today.
My dog is on steroids for one of two things: cancer or autoimmune anemia. Steroids acts as a chemo for both — a cheap one! My vet called it “The poor man’s chemo.”
My sister starts her chemo tomorrow. She’s in a clinical trial for Avastin which has proven to be a heroic tumor killer for other cancers.
So, there’s hope.
I never really thought there was skin on my teeth. But, I have found that there is. How? I’m hangin’ onto it!
And I’ll definitely write at least one, maybe two, more books before I turn fifty.
Hey Elver, I’ve met men like you and you can’t fool me. In fact, I recently broke up with one. So don’t feel so bad. There are people out there who know how you are. Maybe they like you anyway! Maybe they’re using you without you realizing it.
Like Dexter (Darkly, Dreaming Dexter), use your nefarious talents for good. If you must manipulate, manipulate people into feeling better about themselves. All dark powers can be used for good. So do it.
Well, I’m coming out of a funk I’ve been in for a while. I have Unk and Spat and other friends to thank for kind words and wisdom they gave me whilst I was in my funk.
Here’s hoping tomorrow finds everyone here out of their funk.
OMG this is so freakin’ boring with the moderation thing going on! Can’t you fix that Unk? I need immediate gratification. So gratify me!
I go make myself a sammich — devour it and WTF?
Methinks there is a lot of funk goin’ around.
Neddie,
If I wasn’t an animal lover, I’d let you borrow my silenced Ruger semiauto .22. Fuck it. Where do you live?
BUT SERIOUSLY… LOL. Call animal control. Explain all the sorted details to them. Call those sons-a-bitches every time that little motherfucker yelps. Be a SUPER PEST. Talk to your other neighbors to see if they’re being disturbed. Especially at night. Then when you speak to animal control, you can tell them you’re not the only one. Tell them that you don’t want to have the dog taken away — you just want his tongue removed.
BUT SERIOUSLY… Hound those animal control people to death and they will have no choice to hound your neighbors. How do I know this?
It’s been done to ME. LOL.
tabre my man… I need PROOF!
Josh,
Gold is where you find it.
Elver,
You’re a regular counselor here… Or are you taking advantage of your psychological prowess?
Of course I took Lacie at her word:
“I live in Los Angeles and my boyfriend and I are screenwriting partners but he hates everything I write and when we finally go through everything I have written and rewritten it, it always ends up looking like he wrote it.”
Which to me, SCREAMS that Lacie does in fact write but her boyfriend doesn’t like the WAY she has written but rather he likes the idea behind what she’s written so they both rewrite it and SHAZAM! It now looks like boyfriend wrote it.
Additionally… She has a FEELING. I get feelings all the fucking time and guess what? 99% of the fucking time, those FEELINGS are in fact realized — good or bad. We pick up all that fucking random data that our significant others put out also in random and BAM, we get a feeling.
Lacie further says, “I guess what bothers me the most is that most if not all of my story ideas make it into our screenplay but just rewritten so it’s his style.”
Which sounds to me like she’s the brains behind the partnership. Of course I have to look at it this way because this is the only information I have to go on but based on this information only — which is all I fucking need, it sounds like boyfriend thinks he knows how to write. We don’t know if he actually does or not and my BET is that he does not.
And while you tell Lacie that people break up too easily these days — and I somewhat agree with that — I also see too many stupid fucking people getting together in the first place. LOL.
But I ain’t no counselor… I am of the school where if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck — guess what? It’s usually a motherfuckin’ duck.
People do not go with their gut enough these days. Let me say that again:
PEOPLE DO NOT GO WITH THEIR GUT ENOUGH THESE DAYS.
Rick,
Been there too. Done the gambling thing too but I didn’t lose. LOL. In fact, I’ve played craps and blackjack many times at the old Sundowner… Now here’s what you do… Head out of town my man… Towards Stead, Nevada. Stop at the Bonanza Casino. They have dollar a hand blackjack there but don’t let that stop you from playing bigger hands. I’m telling you this because everyone at the Bonanza is nice. They will treat you right. Comps up the ass. Find yourself a local girl that works there and tell her what happened today. Tip her large. You won’t regret it.
JackBrass,
Fuck the reports. That’s ALL you gotta say. She’ll do the rest.
Tom,
Great stuff! We’ve even managed to get some great screenwriting info into Unk’s FunkFest.
mikey,
Taking sides is hard. I highly recommend ONE side.
Yours.
Elver,
Dude, you need to get the hell out of Estonia. That is where you’re at right? I guarantee you that here in the good ole U.S.A., you’ll fit right in and just when you think you’ve figured it all out — you find out how wrong you are.
You need to be in a place where you can make much better use of your psychological prowess. I can empathize. I may go about it a little differently than you because I have a hell of a lot more experience but being able to figure people out IS what this life is all about, Mate.
Seriously.
And no matter what you do, people manipulate people. Always have — always will. Even if you don’t want to YOU WILL DO IT. We’re flesh and blood. It’s in our instincts. We can’t help it. Don’t feel guilty. Give in to the FORCE, Luke.
College Boy,
OUTFUCKINGSTANDING! Now that’s FUNK! Nothing worse than knowing YOU FUCKED UP and now you gotta pay the price. Nothing worse than fucking up and setting your shit back 6 months to a year.
But you know what Dude? Not that this will help you right now but shit… We all go through that… Not knowing if we’re good enough. Not knowing or even thinking we don’t have what it takes. EVERYBODY GOES THROUGH IT. Right of passage, dues, knocks, call it what you will. It’s life. Dust off. Learn from the shit. Do better.
It’s worth it.
Okay everyone… This is good stuff. GET IT OUT! LET IT FUCKING GO!
And remember my disclaimer… I AIN’T NO COUNSELOR. I don’t know shit about your life. I just calls ‘em like I sees ‘em.
Unk
Hey Unk.
I’m in a funk because my parents are still insisting I go to school and get a profession of some sort. Like I said, I doubt I’m going to University next year because I have ntohing sorted out. My mother supports me not going to university if I’m not going to use the education, but she still insists I go to school and get a profession.
It’s complicated, but the bottom line is that my current education, if finished with a big debt at the end of it all, will be no good for getting a job until approximately 2 years after I graduate.
My plan is to make money and save up as I write so I can jump ship to LA in 5-6 or whatnot years from now. However, waiting 2 years to get a starting position in the field I’m currently headed AFTER I graduate 3 years from now will sorely fuck up my plans.
This wouldn’t be a problem if this career that I’m being educated for was what I wanted to do for a living, but it’s not. It’s temporary and purely for finances.
I’m considering either working full-time for the next 5 or whatnot years and saving each penny, or going to film school in a college.
While film school is pointless for a screenwriter, there’s still some things that could be learned.
However, what film school would give me over no school at all is pretty small, and it still costs money even if it’s just at a college.
I’m in a funk because while working full time for the next 5 years seems simple, it’s understandable why those around me want me to get a secure job.
I’ve told them that there are many jobs in the industry I can get while I’m writing and even if my writing career goes sour.
However, this doesn’t exactly strike them as secure jobs, likely because they aren’t.
I’m willing to work hard, though, to make it work out, even if my career as a writer goes to shit 20 years from now and I need money to support my family-of-the-future.
I could also always marry a rich woman. LOL
Haha
- Carlo Conda
If you haven’t seen it already, you might wanna watch The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I watched it last week, and it has helped me in getting out of my funk.
You’re right, Unk. People do not go enough with their gut these days. Thanks for saying that, actually. I needed to hear it.
Writerist, the ex sent me that link last night. Gee, if only he’d cared that much when we were married…
Pardon me, is my bitterness showing?
Anyhow, here’s another link that has helped me enormously as I’ve traversed the yellow brick road of grief:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4675953
Did you choke on your sammich, Unk? Is that it?
*pat pat*
Actually, I just commented again so I could subscribe to comments. Forget that every. damn. time.
Thanks Ann,
That’s a great listen.
Guys,
My funk is gone.
Here’s what it took. I let my shit out here, fuckin’ wallowed in it, got it all out. Then I went across the street to the Pita Pit, and had myself a delicious pita. Turkey with mayonnaise, and one cucumber for luck.
While I was eating, I thought about the script I was trying to write. Not the good one that I had pitched, but this new idea that I had been trying to get on paper. I realized that the reason it wasn’t working, was because the idea sucked. Plain and simple. It wasn’t gonna get better. The suck was inherent.
So I started thinking of a new idea. Long story short - I found one. It came to me like a divine fuckin’ revelation. Matter of fact, I think it WAS a divine revelation. I’m a Neo-Sumerian Narrativist, which means I believe that Nione, goddess of storytellers, looks down on us from the moon and arranges things to be as interesting as possible.
And now, everything is still shitty - except I’m WRITING again! So not a single part of anything I was so upset about before, matters even a little bit! Guys, I have an IDEA! And it’s GOOD! And if I work my ass off for the next two, three months, I can make a GOOD FUCKING SCRIPT out of it!
It’s the best feeling in the world.
-College Boy
PS. Nobody would be on here if they weren’t a storyteller. So next time things seem really, *really* bad, check the phase of the moon. If it’s full or waxing, that means Nione’s sight is clear, and she’s working to arrange things so you can continue to serve her.
If it’s waning or, *shudder* new, like it was last weekend, watch out - that means Nione’s sister, Ereshkigal, is blocking Nione’s sight, and she will try very, very hard to damage your life as permanently as possible. Beware the new moon.
PPS. There is a significant chance that everything I believe in is based on nothing but lunacy. Unlike most religious people, I am perfectly comfortable with that possibility.
Don’t you mean “lunar-cy”? LOL. Good stuff.
I’m in a funk! To me it sucks and I know no one gives a fuck bout it… BUT who cares.
I get to work at 7:00 a.m. and get home close to 10:00 p.m. I work my ass off to please everyone I possibly can. IT STILL ISN’T ENOUGH! Gready ass BIATCHES that want every damn thing done for nothing! Cheap ass people.
As I’m working my ass off all day… I’m thinking about my script and characters.
I feel like I’m fucked! I’m stuck at the end. I put it off and don’t even touch it just to see if it will come to me… Then a GREAT ONE tells me it’s probably my CHARACTERS. Which is VERY true by the way.
So I put myself in their shoes everyday. I pretend I’m them and they are doin’ my job. I want to think like them. So I’m sure people who I deal with think I’m a freakin’ weirdo cause I’m acting like my characters and they don’t know it.
I get home at 10:00. Check out this awesome site. Come to find out there are 41 FUCKING comments here about people who are in a funk just like me. LOL
Takes me an hour just to read them all with some distractions of almost falling asleep… Then I’m ready to crash and haven’t even touched my DAMN SCRIPT! WTF?
So I only contribute to my script by my digital recorder and my note pad that I carry around.
So… I’m basically goin’ around in circles at this point. Only good thing I feel right now is that there are many others who are in a funk and I know I’m not the only one.
Wow! I feel better! Keep on keepin’ on.
I think I’m the only person not in a funk. You know why?
I’m INTO funk.
Literally.
Playing it.
Listening to it.
Absorbing it.
Next time you’re in a funk, put on the Meters or Little Milton or some Sly and the Family Stone, and try to stay in a funk. It’s impossible! You can’t help but get out of the funk you’re in and into a whole sort of different funk.
You know how into funk I am right now? I’m learning the bass line to Car Wash.
It’s Prozac, man.
Unk. My funk?
I just optioned two scripts and won 2nd place in a major contest. Why the funk? Well, all of a sudden my family who has not supported me, snickering behind my back for 14 years, and told me to shut up about me dream already, are coming around for fucking pats on my back! Like fuck off! It’s too late to ride the gravy train, ya fucking greedy bitches!
And to top it all off, my wife and I had to stop our IUI infertility treatments last week because it was our last try. So now we have to look at adoption. Not our dream. Lots of tears and crying and screaming and hating certain entities. And those people who come up and say “Oh, it’s all in god’s plan, he will bring you a child in some way.” I am so tempted to say, Fuck off!!!! I swear to God if you say one more word I will slap that sorry look off your face so fast you’ll be disfigured for life ya fucking idiot!!!!!!! I don’t even feel sorry for the next person because it just may come out next.
And now I don’t even have the energy to enjoy the screenwriting success that’s finally coming.
Life is shit sometimes and I am so fucking angry and I am so tired of seeing my wife’s heart break it makes me sick to my stomach that I am helpless to do anything about it and FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man, thanks for letting me get it out.
Golly. I hope you are ready for the onslaught. Firstly, I have only recently subscribed to this blog, but have been attempting to send more screenwriters this way because it is quite informative. I’m saddened to hear you are in a funk - it seems to be a common ailment these days, and I especially hate it when it happens to writers. Writers are the prophets of what has, will, and can be and I like to think they can change the world.
My funk was brought on by “adrenal burnout”, as my doctor terms it (note to all: too much attention to the day job is actually very bad for you). It tripped me into a dysthymic state which has the unpleasant side effect of shutting down my once overactive imagination. I am struggling to write anything at the moment, because I can’t “picture” anything. I’m trying out little experiments to see if I can change the way I plan and write. I’ve heard that other writers don’t necessarily “see” the characters or “hear” their voices and that the hills coming alive is a trait specific to screenwriters/visual writers. Here’s hoping.
Thanks for a great blog, and I hope you are able to leave Funky town.
By the way… I’m sure Utah has something to do with it Unk. Lol
Wait a minute. How did my second comment appear before my first one???
ALRIGHT… There’s another funk! LOL
Scott, wow… I feel for you. Hang in there. Science is progressing faster with every passing day. You two might have a baby after all. Fuck the imaginary bearded cloud emperor. If anything does it, it’ll be science.
I was completely fine before I read all these posts. Now I’m in a funk because this is really depressing.
Whenever I get depressed I start a project I’ve been meaning to get to and focusing on that tends to make me forget whatever it was I was so upset about. Then again, my wife isn’t cheating on me with the projectionist.
Unk –
Here we are — 2000 and fuck’n 8 — and our complaints (re: funk) ring as true — and regrettably as pitiful — today as they did decades and if not eons ago.
Art/craft/business. Which is it? In the short history of cinema, we have witnessed the supremacy of one part of this trinity at some point. Cinema now is a business — an industry of bonds, sureties, proformas… cold and ruthless like some Ayn Rand steel and concrete set. So, in this scriptwriting (for the) reader scenario, our stories must have this business/profit overlay. That’s Hollywood today.
As (yet un-produced) writers, it seems strange to me that we construct stories not for the sake of the telling, or the sake of the transformational possibilities, but for this reader person. Do painters paint for the buyer of the owner of the art gallery? Is music composed for the transcriber?
We’re like McFly, hapless and subservient to a fault. There are tens of thousands of script writers, who spend (I am sure) millions of dollars on books, seminars, workshops, CDs, DVDs — all crafted to propel us from our self-conscious obscurity to the klieg lights of prominence. We’re in some 12-step funk: “Hi, my name is Richard…” (”Hi, Richard”)”… and I’m an aspiring scriptwriter…”
And, most of these purveyors-behind-the-curtain have corralled us into believing that the only way to our (very) personal success is to appease some post-pubescent frustrated wantabe (”reader”), some disenfranchised contrarian who alone is deciding the merits of our work. Who died and made them god?
It’s funny. In many places throughout the world, when a segment of society is totally displeased with authority, they organize and protest/strike. “I’ll be damned if I’m working more than 35 hours a week!! Merde!!” But, here in the USA, the aristocrats (when they take time to bother) fob us off with the eat cake meme. And, how do we respond? We pull out our debit cards and buy some new writing software, pre-register to the next workshop. We sure show them, don’t we?!
There are options we could come up with, creative solutions, resolves. But, we won’t pursue them. We don’t trust ourselves. We still believe we’re powerless. We can imagine every conceivable heroic act … as long as it’s acted out by our two-dimensional protagonist. Yeah, he can transform until the cows come home. But, you won’t find me out there! No sir. I want to make it in Hollywood, live up on Beechwood Drive (above the market, of course), be recognized. I was a contender… I coulda been somebody …
Hey, UNK. Another long-time lurker here and yes, funked.
So, my funk? I’m severely lacking motivation. A pretty common one, right? I have all these aspirations to be a writer/screenwriter but when I actually fucking sit in front of my laptop and prepare to write, half of the time the urge just disappears and I end up messing around with the plot points or tweaking stuff I’ve already written fifty times over.
The most annoying part? While I lack motivation, I’m not lacking inspiration… I’m like a corked champagne bottle that some joker keeps shaking up! LOL!
I have at least seven worthy ideas for screenplays, not including the one I’m currently working on, and I genuinely feel it would be a fucking sin to NOT write them! I’ll be seriously pissed if I spend the rest of my life doing “other things” and never getting around to writing the stories that scream at me from the depths of my imagination… That kind of “What if?” isn’t the sort I like to think about!
I’m also bloody stubborn, (a good screenwriting trait?) I’m refusing to put down this script and start another, simply because I want to FREAKIN’ FINISH ONE!
Probably my worst problem is reading books on screenwriting when I should be WRITING… Oh, sure, I’m soaking up useful information, but I’m also using it as a fucking distraction! LOL, how ironic is that!?
I guess I should count myself lucky that the people around me are positive about my screenwriting goals - they’re telling me to go for it, but then, maybe that’s just a pressure of a different kind…
Bah! I need a kick up the ass, but the question is: how hard?
Hmm, this has turned into a bit of a therapy session… Ask Uncle Unk! LOL
On a separate note: You’re doing a fantastic job, Unk. Every post is pure gold.
Unk, he’s a quacker alright. He quacked one too many times last night and I packed his bags for him.
No more funk. WOW. I really do feel so much better.
Elver, you scare me.
Lacie
I got funk.
All the way up to my eyes.
Lost my job. It sucked but it paid the bills. I recently got arrested for flipping off a cop so there’s that bullshit. My cat ate my parakeet so I know what your saying Unk. He woke me up every morning and made the funk easier. I never see my family anymore because they’re back in New Jersey. They all think I’m living large and writing movies.
I ain’t. Fuck me.
Sorry I’m late to the party. Long time lurker here but this thread really is making me feel better. Not that I’m happy that others are in a funk but it’s just nice to know that we are all flesh and blood just like Unk says.
I’m funky because my boss sexually harrasses me every day. He’s even patted my ass. I know I should do something about it but I really love this job and the first thing my attorney told me was that the job will go down the drain.
Plus, this particular job does have its benefits when it comes to screenwriting which I am desperately trying to learn because that is my dream.
My boss (a producer) has read two of my screenplays and says they are decent but need some work. He says if I rewrite them according to his verbal notes, he might be able to help me get one of them made. I don’t know whether to believe him or sue the bastard.
Not much of a funk but it is the best I have.
karmen
i never been here before today. found this site on googletube cuz im trying to learn how to write screenplays. so far, iv read several articles here and the information seems good. way different than the stuff ive read in the books but it feels right to me.
but yes im in a funky state of mind all this week because im an actor in la and its really hard to keep getting gigs to pay the rent. every time i find an auditon that i think i coulddo pretty well i cant get the time off work. i work at a kinkos and i copy a lot of scripts. whats even mre funny is i asked this screenwriter guy one day how do i learn to write screenplays and he tells me to check out the unkniown screenriter site but i didnt know that the hell he was talking about. now i look up some screenwriting stuff today and here i am. weird. but cool.
Good stuff Unk.
Keep it up.
It’s easy to be in a funk when you live in Hollywood. This is back-stabbing shithole of a place to do business. Don’t tell anybody anything unless you want it all over town. These assholes still tap phones, have people followed, extort, you name it. They do it. Be happy that you are not here.
plotmaster
Carlo,
I guess I was lucky growing up… LOL. Neither one of my parents gave two-shits what I was going to do with my life.
Or is that unlucky?
Lucky for ME because I really never had the kind of pressure you’re talking about.
Having said that, I do think having parents that give a shit about your future IS A GOOD THING but you can also get too much of a good thing.
Oh yeah… Trust me on that.
But you’ve heard it all before my man… It’s YOUR LIFE — not your parents’ life. You’re the one that has to live it and I can speak from some experience when I say that when you live your life for everyone else but yourself, you’re FUCKED.
It’s okay to include them… Just don’t do it for them. Sometimes CONFIDENCE is a hard thing to come by. Sometimes you just gotta say FUCK IT and do what you want to do because YOU know you can.
Good luck with it…
Ann,
Have YOU checked your GUT today? LOL.
College Boy,
Get yer ass in gear and get to writin’…
Ryan,
Isn’t this YOUR OWN business?
Fuck’em.
Even if you can’t seriously tell them that — THINK IT. Think it while they spout their bullshit at you.
Works for me… LOL.
Christina,
About the closest I can get to listening to funk is reading it right here… LOL.
No offense…
Scott,
CONGRATS on the 2 options. Was FERAL one of them? I still haven’t had a chance to read it but for sure in May. April is just too fucked right now.
Dude… Hug your wife. Tell her you love her. Lay down with her and just hug and stroke her as long as you can. Do that long enough and things get better.
Roon,
Dude.. You just have to learn HOW TO RELAX. Put yourself in a deep trance all by yourself in a dark room… Breathe DEEP and slow. Let your movie fade in from the black and start playing it.
It works…
Elver,
You scare me too… LOL.
Emily,
Don’t let these comments get you down… Some of us just have it worse than others. You think these comments are bad????? You should see my INBOX!
Fuck me to tears.
What I like about all this is that through it all, I still sense very STRONG personalities here. People that will get through their funk no matter what.
You gotta love humans…
RML,
The TRICK is to make these fuckers THINK you’re giving them EXACTLY what they want… Not hard to do. Know what they want and give it to them but you give it to them in such a way that it suffices their fucked up surface-logic and understanding of storytelling.
That’s the TOP LAYER my friend… That’s the poison icing you give these fuckers and they go off swallowing it like candy.
They can’t even SEE what you’ve slid underneath… LOL.
FunkedWriter,
Motivation — LIKE GOLD — is where you find it. It’s there — right inside you — you just haven’t tapped into it…
Yet.
You say you like your ideas. That’s a great start. So now get all those ideas down on paper and figure out WHAT ABOUT THOSE IDEAS fascinates you. There’s motivation underneath those ideas and when you find it — you won’t be able to stop.
Writing, that is…
Lacie,
Now YOU can write. Get crackin’ girl….
Paulie,
I got nothin’…
‘Cept this:
Woke Up This Morning
karmen,
Better late than never… Next time he pats yer ass, slap the shit out of him….
robby,
Welcome… You gotta question — just ask.
Saylesman,
You too… LOL.
plotmaster,
That’s why I don’t live in Smallywood.
Unk
Thanks for the tip. It is very difficult to really work for yourself or freelance unless luck is on your side. I’m trying to transfer to LA with my company but I doubt that I will be in NYC this winter either way.
But then WHEN I make it I will rent an office, so working from home isn’t really my goal. I’m not the recompense type. I’m more the poet type.
Scott,
ON SECOND THOUGHT…
Listen to this together….
If You Don’t Love Me I’ll Kill Myself
Unk
Oh my God! What a great song! Hope you don’t mind that I downloaded it.
Play it to her Scott!
Lacie
I live in Los ANgeles and am trying to be a screenwriter. I’ve had 4 people from my grou[p today call me to tell me about this post.
But now my funk is gone from listening to this song. I just wish I had somebody that loved me that much.
I’ll be back.
scribevirgin
I was in a funk but I don’t really want to share it here. I’m a long-time screenwriting blog lurker but not this blog but all the other top blogs and I’ve got to say that I’ve learned more and been entertained more here than all of the other ones put together and it’s only been an hour.
Our own little Pump Up The Volume for screenwriters.
Thanks.
–.45 with a pen
Yeah it’s my business. I sometimes think the same thing, too(saying fuck’em to them). If I did that, then I would be unemployed. Lol
Just going through a tough time right now with all the bull shit. I love what I do, but sometimes the bull shit can get a little too much.
I think I’m feeling all this because I’m stuck in my script. I feel guilty cause I can’t think of anything that feels right for my script. It’s affecting me in all other areas of my life. It’s a funk, and I’ll get over it.
This blog is awesome. Just when I think I’m going through something tough… Come to find out there are others that are in a funky state as well.
Check out the response. It’s fantastic… Well not fantastic about everybodies funk, but all the action in here.
Unk,
Thanks for the song, it’s one of my favorites. Played it for my wife, put it on repeat, and held her, rocking her as she cried herself to sleep. We feel alone but know we always have each other. And the song is exactly the level of love we have for each other. So thanks.
As for FERAL, not the one optioned… yet. The others were an older one and a kind of recent one. But I hope to make FERAL the next one. And no problem on not reading it, whenever you get the chance, brother.
Joshua,
I know how you feel, and what’s the point in trying to sell yourself and your shit if you don’t think you and your scripts are the best thing since Chuck Norris? Just as long as you always think the way Unk thinks, and I do too, that you can always be better.
If someone thinks they can’t get any better, then they’re an asshole. Look at Chriss Angel. Wakes up every day to try and create something better and bigger and more unbelievable than the thing he did the day before. And he pulled a friggin’ woman in half and had her top half pull herself away screaming!
Now that’s how you become a success. And that’s how you become the best at what you do.
And Unk, thanks for letting us all get this shit out. Whether you realize it or not, this entire post has given a huge amount of people what it takes to keep the foot stepping in front of the one that’s stuck in cement. And it’s nice to see Master Yodunk as a human being once in a while.
And for all you fuckers who argue with Unk about the shit he puts out there and disagree and argue and send hate mail — Do me this one thing:
Go sell a million dollar spec doing the opposite of what he says.
What? Nobody there? Anyone? Bueller?
Until then, use that time you’ve wasted hate-mailing and put the energy into a script worth more than a wife-stealing-good-for-nothing-loser-projectionist-who-gets-off-rescreening-clips-of-Jessica-Alba’s-ass-shot-in-Into-the-Blue.
My two cents.
Scottie screeenwriter.
Another long time early morning lurker, Unk.
We need you more than an Eskimo Freeze.
Jeeves
Ok now I feel horribly guilty for admitting this here - but I got the Emmy nomination if you wondered?
As for the Bonanza comment in Rick’s post - never been there. I was also impressed you knew about Stead! Wow! Shows you really spent some time here.
I live in Reno myself. And who knows - maybe I’ve actually seen Rick before? Enough people here now since I’ve grown up.
Lacie,
Uh… That MP3 isn’t even on my site… That would be illegal… I just know how to find ‘em and link the way…
scribevirgin,
Another interesting handle there… LOL. Huh… Other screenwriters actually read this shit?
Who’dathunkit?
.45 with a pen,
You’re not another one of those PUMP UP THE VOLUME nerds are you? I keep meeting them everywhere I go. I swear that movie is an underground cult classic with some people.
But thanks!
Ryan… I know you can’t tell ‘em to fuck off… But thinking it while they talk to you shouldn’t lose you too much business… LOL.
Scott,
Hug her for all of us!
Jeeves,
I’ve never written to a Jeeves before. Just searched with one — asked questions.
Welcome and thanks for de-lurking.
Kellene,
I know Reno probably better than I should… LOL. Did you know that Stead (when I was there anyway) was a haven for Devil Worshippers? I have a friend who’s a cop there and they were always stumbling onto satanic ceremonies, rituals, sacrifices, etc.
You don’t live in Stead do you? LOL.
Hey, CONGRATS on the nomination! That’s gotta feel good. Let me virtually pat you on the back!
Pat pat.
Don’t sue me.
Unk
You’re a pice of work, Unk.
karmen
karmen…
Iam.
Unk
Thanks for dropping by my humble abode my good man. I am on an upswing so don’t have any shit to toss against the wall…
Sorry to get to this post so late… but ironically I was in a funk and haven’t checked in for a while.
My funk’s incredibly simple… I’m throwing away a potentially brilliant career through a combination of self-doubt and procrastination. I’ve got a total of five screen-plays in various stages of development and if I focussed on anyone of them, the confident part of me believes I’ll make a sale… so, instead of picking one of them and just getting on with it I teach myself 3D animation; and, when I get solid with that I get a sudden urge to master Apple Motion… and to set up a Fringe Fashion show in Milan… and write a book about how to make cinema quality feature films on a $1000 budget… and watch the entire first three series of House, whilst trying to master Italian.
And the truth is… all of this is just running away from putting myself in the market, because as long as I don’t put myself out there I can hang onto the illusion that I’m an undiscovered talent (which I am).
Other than that everything is fantastic… Oh, and I’ve started roller blading at the age of 47 and have already smashed one hand to a pulp.
Hey $1,000,
I’m right there with you except instead of teaching myself 3-D or learning Italian, I usually just spend my time on Boing Boing or some other internet time waste. Also, I complain about my job…a lot!
This is a fucking wonderful blog.
I’m banging my head over a failed hard drive. It wasn’t just a screenplay or some photos that I lost… I lost my entire film. A feature. low budget, 30K. Shot on HD with motion picture 35mm lenses. Stunningly beautiful, potential to be something really cool, a screenplay I wrote and directed over the course of two years… gone. Because we were idiots and bought a raid-0 drive. Because we were idiots and took too long in data backup and the damned thing kicked the bucket ironically while doing backup. Data recovery could do nothing. It’s gone. The drive’s a brick and I’m facing a reshoot of everything next year… once we get our funding again, of course.
So that, my friend, is why I’m banging my head.
But, the silver lining is that I’m rewriting the script now, and it’s already 100 times better. I guess there’s a reason for everything…
Mothra, that is really damn depressing. You shot directly to an HD? No tapes to go back to?
First time… commenter here. UNK, you have a fantastic site here. It’s been an invaluable resource.
My funk is that I finally grew the balls to leave my cheating whore wife so I could concentrate on an upcoming short film competition I’m trying to submit to, but I didn’t realize what a lengthy and time-consuming process actually breaking up would be. So now I’m under the gun rushing to finish the material I want to submit in time. Ah well, better than being in a creatively stifling relationship.
Yay, I have a new Funk.
Damned immigration crap is posing as an additional gatekeeper.
http://carloconda.blogspot.com/2008/05/hello-brick-wall.html