11 Responses to “Let this be a lesson to you Clive…”

1. Ann Wesley Hardin on Monday: 30 April 2007|1945

   Ahahahahaha! Did Clive make this? Who’s the hot guy with the totally rockin’ stained underwear? I so dig that. Can I meet him?

2. Clive on Tuesday: 1 May 2007|0410

   Hmmm - the film doesn’t play on any of my browsers! But I got the jist from the comments. Woman strips and the payoff is it’s revealed that she’s a fat dude in a girl suit (or something like that!) Am I close?

   No, Ann I didn’t make this one! More’s the pity — my short suck!

   But you know me Unk, I never learn anything! LOL

   The truth is this doesn’t really dent my position, because Mark who made this realized something that I worked out years ago, the best shorts are both very short and essentially gags with a simple set up and a payoff.

   One of very few other shorts I really admire is a film I saw about eight years ago, where Ewan McGreggor is walking on a beach, he sees a cream cake sitting on the sand — it’s pristine, still in it’s wrapper, he examines it and decides as no one is looking he’ll take a bite. The second he does, a huge hook is pulled though his mouth and he’s dragged into the sea on the end of a fishing line. There’s no dialogue, no character development, just a set up and a clever payoff.

   My basic premise that short films by and large suck and also don’t prepare people for writing features I think still stands. Clever shorts like these are definitely in the minority.

   But maybe that wasn’t the lesson! Is this payback for me revealing your secret identity as a four hundred pound, tattooed woman, living in a trailer park in Orlando? LOL

   Maybe there’s more going on here than I first realized, is that you acting for the payoff? LMAO

   But seriously, like I said in the rant on my site, I’d like to see examples of good shorts — I’d like to be proved wrong. Keep them coming… no pun intended.

   Of course the other lesson I might be supposed to take from this is you could just be reminding me that you have photos of me with the Brazilian Ladyboy! (I mean it’s a mistake anyone could make… and I you shouldn’t read anything into the fact me and Miguel still exchange the occasional email!)

3. Ann Wesley Hardin on Tuesday: 1 May 2007|0420

   Is this payback for me revealing your secret identity as a four hundred pound, tattooed woman, living in a trailer park in Orlando?

   I thought that was Mystery Man…

4. MaryAn on Tuesday: 1 May 2007|0832

   Wait. So that’s NOT John Travolta playing Edna Turnblatt in Hairspray?

5. Clive on Tuesday: 1 May 2007|0840

   Ahh, just got the film to play after half a day of messing about.

   And, I also worked out the lesson - I’d forgotten I’d told you I was back out dating again! LMAO

   Thanks for the heads up!

   And after those incidents in Rio we both know I need telling more than once, you did warn me and I didn’t listen.

   By the way, I really liked the way they handled the effects in this movie, even if the non-principle acting sucked ass. I wish someone had told Mark the only way to sell comedy is to play it straight. And don’t even get me started on the soundtrack! LOL

6. Laura Deerfield on Tuesday: 1 May 2007|0928

   I’ve tried subscribing to the RSS feed - and it just shows up as empty. Not sure why it doesn’t seem to work.

7. Moviequill on Tuesday: 1 May 2007|1218

   the fishnets were a nice touch… real nice

8. Unk on Wednesday: 2 May 2007|1529

   Ann,

   Maybe we can get you hooked up…

   Clive,

   Just be sure to feel for the adam’s apple or whatever apple makes you feel secure. LOL.

   MaryAn,

   You could be right…

   Laura,

   Are you subscribing to the correct feed url? There’s two you can use:

   http://feeds.feedburner.com/UnknownScreenwriter
   http://www.unknownscreenwriter.com/feed/

   Moviequill,

   Hmmm. You just peeled back a layer… LOL.

   Unk

9. Clive on Thursday: 3 May 2007|0659

   Good call on the adams apple, that way I can be sure that I never accidentally end up with a lady! LOL

10. Ann Wesley Hardin on Thursday: 3 May 2007|0706

    Sounds like Unk’s had some experience in this arena.

11. Nick on Thursday: 3 May 2007|2212

    I thought I was the only one with fantasies like this.

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