Getting remotivated…
Posted on April 8, 2008
Filed Under Uncategorized
Okay so I was up all night taking care of a dove hatchling. A couple of days ago, one of my cats brought the little guy in and dropped it at the foot of my bed… It actually woke me up because of its screeching. I took an empty cranberry juice bottle, filled it with hot water, stuck it in the center one of the cat’s bed, tucked a towel around that and then another towel on top and the baby inside that.
Unfortunately, the poor guy had been punctured a few times on his body from the cats… I cleaned him up and got the bleeding to stop but it was touch and go for the first 24 hours. Since this happened in the wee hours of the morning, I took a piece of organic whole wheat bread and and some filtered water and blended it up. With toothpick in hand, the little guy did pretty well. He ate quite a bit but I’ve done this before so I was sure not to feed him too much.
The next day, he started to move around a lot more… He was hell of a lot more lively. And hungry. LOL.
I went out and bought some bird formula and then mixed that up and fed him. On top of that, I ended up buying a little enclosure for him. You fill the bottom of this thing up with hot water and then you stick an underwater heater inside so that you can keep the temperature constant. Everything was going well. He kept eating and drinking — no problems.
I set the clock for 0400 to feed him again and unfortunately, he didn’t make it. Now normally, I would just chalk this up to bad luck and of course the trauma the cats put him through and I’m sure that’s actually what happened.
But it still fucked me up.
What’s that got to do with screenwriting?
I just thought it was interesting that this happened to me after yesterday’s post… As if things couldn’t get any worse. For some reason, this little guy kept me motivated. I figured if I could bring him back to life, we’d both be alright.
Goes to show you how things you can’t control just happen no matter what you do to keep them from happening and they’re just going to keep doing that over and over and over again no matter what you do or what you say.
It’s fucking life.
And death.
Unk
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29 Responses to “Getting remotivated…”
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I’m right there with ya, Unkalish. Rock steady, my friend.
I don’t know what it is, but I, and everyone I know is in a funk right now. Not the, “Gas is too expensive, wahhhh”-funk, but an overall “life sucks” funk.
I want to make the Script Pimp deadline, but I can’t motivate.
Here’s the thing — you lost him, but you provided warmth, shelter, and love for him in his last hours. In the last few hours he had in life, a big, mysterious creature showed him something nothing else in this world did…mercy.
That is the BEST thing you could have done for him, IMO.
And you know I know what I’m talking about here — when bad things happen they like to happen in bunches. Just pray that there’s some big, mysterious creature somewhere up there showing you mercy.
I wouldn’t feel too bad. You’ve actually given me hours of excellent reading time. And excellent quality of life hours to a helpless creature.
Sounds like a good story hook to me. :-)
That’s hard. I love the song of doves. They sing so much better than most birds.
I love cats, too, even tho’ they can be heartless predators, I love cats, they have real character, in fact I have worked in a cat hospital, and unfortunately been witness to a similar scenario described above, only with a cat or a kitten rather than a dove hatching.
It was tough and made me glad I didn’t go to vet school like I thought I would - because I’m not built for that type of event on a regular basis.
Vets, the ones I’ve known, tend to view it pretty objectively - even when they are attached, they tend to compartmentalize the emotional events, such as loss, involving pets (if they felt anything at all, a few vets just don’t care) and it’s understandable, a necessary action to maintain their sanity.
As a vet tech, I found it very hard to compartmentalize emotional events like that. It was tough, which is probably why I’m a better dramatist than a vet tech (though I was a fair vet tech). It always hit me hard.
The cycle of life can both exhilarating and brutal in its inevitable crushing roll onward.
Shit fucks me up, too.
More so these days because I’m a new father, and I’ve got an active imagination capable of conjuring both the best and worst there can be.
It’s really fucked me up.
But as scary as it has been, I’m sure glad I’m on that ride.
What’s that have to do with screenwriting?
Probably NOTHING - LOL!
But hell, if we ain’t drinking from that brutal cup of life and gasping when we see that cup come up empty for other beings, what the hell could we even write about that would matter in the slightest?
Josh
I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been in a rut as of these last three weeks.
Being self employed and not in an office(but mobile) or anything, but providing a service for dip shits that always having me drive around putting out fires. Of course I wouldn’t call them dip shits… To their faces anyways. LOL.
I’m spent all day, sun up to sun down driving everywhere getting people out of these binds. I can’t just stay at one location and actually make some money. I spend half my day driving and THAT AIN’T COOL!
Sorry if this duplicates. Accidentally pressed a wrong button before.
With me being self employed who doesn’t have an office but is mobile and provides a service for people.
I drive at least half the day going from place to place to put out fires that doesn’t need to be done at that time. Wasting my time on some ass hole who doesn’t have any consideration for me or anyone.
I’m working sun up to sun down. Racing against the damn sun every day. I can’t stay at one location and just make a dollar but drive all day for ass holes who don’t give… Then I try to at least write a page or two afterwards before I pass out.
For me… I’m very burned out cause of these dipshits. My mojo is lacking seriously cause I can’t make a damn dollar while working twice as long. These last three weeks have been hell for me.
So I’m in agreement with you Unk and Neil. I’m seriously lacking the motivation with my job.
Motivation is a bitch. I’m nearing the end of a motivation-free/depression-filled period myself. Happens on a pretty regular basis to me. The best cure I’ve found is to grind video games day after day for a week or so until my brain gets so bored, it starts yearning to live and create. If you wanna try that I would recommend Hitman: Blood Money, NFS: Prostreet, Fable: TLC, Sins of a Solar Empire and Anno 1701. Or just Solitaire and Minesweeper will do.
Sorry to hear about the bird. Mother Nature is a cold, heartless bitch. Probably a really bitter single mom.
What disturbs me most about these scenarios is the attitude of the cats: they don’t regret the death they inflict. In fact, they’re proud of it; they drag the fucker into your bed to show him off, like “Hey dude, look what I brought you. Thanks for feeding me all these years!”
I’ve got a flock of 9+ alley cats living beside my apartment. I try to feed ‘em every night around midnite. They still have the nerve to hiss at me when I come out. Like, “Dude, you forgot to feed us yesterday!”
Whatever. We do what we can. And then some.
I have friends who write short contemporary romance novels. Two of them chose this form because of their personal life experience in neonatal hospital words where life and death was part of the job, and cancer hospital wards.
Guess what the nurses and long stay visitors read in their break times?
No surprise it was not horror or crime - it was feel good, happy ending, soppy love stories with ‘wave a flag’ messages that YOU had a chance to find love and happiness in your own sad life.
These books literally got them through the trauma. It made life bearable.
I take that experience as an empowering message for writers of every genre and medium.
It should motivate every one of us.
[Even if my friends do have to suffer the ridicule about writing for Harlequin.]
Wow! I can’t imagine how that must have felt, but it’s wonderful to know you cared enough to help him through that time in his little life…
Hmmm. Maybe it IS true what they say… Misery LOVES company! LOL.
I guess we all go through this shit from time to time… Wondering what it’s all about. In fact, I used to do this A HELL OF A LOT MORE when I wasn’t getting paid to be a screenwriter.
Trust me when I tell you I was there… Writing at lunchtime. On weekends. Wee hours of the morning. No sleep for days. People I worked with laughing at me while they toiled away at their daily lives.
As a matter of fact, my biggest burden was my ex-wife… She just wanted me to go to work. Come home. Drink beer. Fall asleep. Get up and repeat. On weekends there of course would be those “honey do” lists.
Uh… No.
I never did fall into that rut. No disrespect to anyone. If that’s what you LOVE — I applaud you because YOU’RE LIVING YOUR DREAM.
It just didn’t work for me.
I guess it’s just those days that you feel like you’re smacking your head into the wall and the only thing happening is the blood gushing from your head.
Ann,
Rock steady. Ain’t nobody STEADIER.
Neil,
Funk. Ah. I think I’ve noticed that going around too. Funk can be a good thing for a screenwriter. I do a lot of note writing when I’m in a funk. I read this shit later and it reads like Hannibal Lecter. LOL. Gotta use all the emotions. No matter how fucked up they are.
Writerist,
I certainly do know. I should actually be thanking someone that I’m even alive. LOL.
Christian,
Glad to hear it as that IS what’s it’s about.
Josh,
I love my cats but whew… These little fuckers just think they can do whatever they want… Oh that’s right… THEY CAN! LOL.
Ryan,
More funk. I hear ya. Are you sure that’s not because of living in Utah? I think I read an article that said something about people living in Utah are in more of a funk than anyone else in America.
Just kidding… LOL.
Elver,
Ah… You’re one I have been meaning to get back to. Let me just say not till next month. I’m still on a whirlwind mission till the end of the month. I guess I am really fucking old because I look at video games and feel the same way as when I’m beating my head against the wall. No offense, I’d rather pull slivers out of my hand.
Ray-Anne,
I’ve actually read AND heard this same phenomena. Unfortunately for me, I tend to not like to read anything when I’m doing any writing. It’s just my own little rule so that I don’t inadvertently and unconsciously grab something I’ve read. But I will say this… I watch the sunset or catch a glimpse of a wild animal and that tends to make me feel a hell of a lot better.
Deborah,
Felt helpless and for some reason, this particular time, I felt even more helpless than I’ve ever felt before and I’ve been writing about that. I’m sure there’s a deep-seated reason for it so I try to figure all that out and really explore all the emotion that plods through me so maybe, just maybe, I can harness a little piece of it for a scene that needs just that.
Thanks for the comments everyone… Welcome lurkers and new commentors.
Unk
Unk,
You did good, man. We should all be that comfortable when the end comes.
Writing is tough. But I’m fortunate to have a wonderful wife who allows me the time to write after work for 1 - 1.5 every night (yeah, even after a 12 hour day including the 1.25 hour commute one way). On top of that I get 5 hours of writing in on weekend mornings. She never complains. With that much freedom how could I NOT write?
Even if I never sell, I will always write. Can’t do anything else. Don’t want to do anything else. My day job supports my writing habit.
I think it’s time for a vacation.
Head over to LA and soak in your industry, my friend.
*shrugs* I dunno.
Unk, I think the fact that you did what you did, that you tried, it screams volumes about the kind of person you are. And I thank you for being that person.
And I think the funk comes with the territory of being an artist, a creative person. We are just so much more introverted and analytical about ourselves, our choices, our lives, and the outside world that fucks with us on a daily basis.
This too will pass my friend, this too will pass.
Thanks for posting this…
I feel like often in the screen writing community, everybody makes a conscious effort to portray an outward image of stability, perhaps just because the nature of trying to write is inherently unstable, especially for the kind of people writing generally attracts.
It helps me to know that sometimes stuff just doesn’t click right, and I am not alone in this. :)
sounds like you tried to care for the bird. that’s good.
please don’t take this the wrong way. maybe I missed something but in case I didn’t…
keep the fucking cats indoors asshole.
a) they kill shit
b) they can get runned over.
m,
Hmmm. Not too many ways to take being called an asshole. LOL.
I just hope my cats don’t get “runned” over because guess what? I have a little cat door and I let them in and out all day long — 24/7.
Hmmm. What else… Oh yeah…
Eat me.
Unk
Unk,
(get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuumble)
Hey man it’s coolio you have a cat door but don’t go writing no self aggrandizing BS about life and death and how you through some dove that your you’re, ur catz brought home was going to help get you out of some piti-party funk. “if he made it I felt like I could pull thru my” wah wah wah…
you did make it. bird didn’t.
you rich ass, successful, celeb just signed onto my script and I sent them free ideas cause I care so much about the “art” wanna be tough ass sensitive guy
funk you unk! I’m a short, bald ass wanna be, 40yr old script writer living in my mom’s house!
FUNK UNK! everyone! let’s get this guy!
oh, and to the UNK faithfull, …wah! please read my script then kick my ass with your brutally insightful honesty. It really helps my writing. Oh and can you get me a manager-agent-singer song writer?
f-UNK you all!!
…sorry, Should I have put that on that venting post?
PS. seriously, sorry about the bird. sucks. tough moral dilemma IMO. I know there’s nothing I can say about the cat door thing. Some people let them out. I’m just sad the birdy died and that your cats could conceivably get run over or picked off by a hawk or one of dem dere coyotes.
Unk,
(get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuumble)
Hey man it’s coolio you have a cat door but don’t go writing no self aggrandizing BS about life and death and how you through some dove that your, you’re, ur catz brought home was going to help get you out of some piti-party funk. “if he made it I felt like I could pull thru my” wah wah wah…
you did make it. bird didn’t.
you rich ass, successful, celeb just signed onto my script and I sent them free ideas cause I care so much about the “art” wanna be tough ass sensitive guy
funk you unk! I’m a short, bald ass wanna be, 40yr old script writer living in my mom’s house!
FUNK UNK! everyone! let’s get this guy!
oh, and to the UNK faithfull, …wah! please read my script then kick my ass with your brutally insightful honesty. It really helps my writing. Oh and can you get me a manager-agent-singer song writer?
f-UNK you all!!
…sorry, Should I have put that on that venting post?
PS. seriously, sorry about the bird. sucks. tough moral dilemma IMO. I know there’s nothing I can say about the cat door thing. Some people let them out. I’m just sad the birdy died and that your cats could conceivably get run over or picked off by a hawk or one of dem dere coyotes.
m,
Hmmm… Dude. Now I understand where you’re coming from. Your entire life is just one big Goddamn funk after another.
I feel for ya, Babe.
Let’s do lunch. LOL.
Feel better now?
Eat me (again).
Unk
Is “m” tabre?
I don’t think so… I think “m” is just somebody who needs a little stroking…
Unk
I think M is in a funk of his own.
I am in a funk. like it that way.
…it’s funky.
unk I like you but please, no…stroking.
not unless you’re going to make sure you will keep working on “my script” until it has a “happy ending”
(god I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop myself)
m… I knew I could draw your agenda out of you…
Unk
I think I’m in the twilight zone…
speaking of agendas why does carlo always reply right after you? hmmmm. close proximity?
ok, i gotta stop this it is going twilight zone.
come on UNK post a new post we need inspiration!!!!!!
It was 5:11 when I posted. This site goes by central time, however.
Right? lol
I’m not sure if I posted an hour after Unk, or if I posted 3 minutes after Unk. Not sure how this site handles the time, but I know it’s kinda funky from past experiences.
Do doo do do doo doooo… Baddummm
Wait, that the X-Files theme.