Death Becomes Me

Wow… This is kinda weird. I just finished a script and sent it out last week. I’ve never had a script read so fast. I’m not really a cellphone kinda guy so I haven’t been returning calls like I should be.
Why?
I don’t think I really give a shit.
This is one of the best scripts I’ve ever written… Maybe the best. The REACTIONS are varied but all positive thus far but several producers have flat out told me they felt dirty at some time during their read. LOL.
A couple have gone on to say they don’t really know HOW to feel about that.
Well at least you’re FEELING.
The death of my brother has turned my insides OUT to the point where I just can’t get excited about these reactions… These phone calls.
I look at the current state of movies and I almost get sick thinking that I might SOMEHOW contribute to the fucking SCHLOCK out there.
How could that happen you ask? LOL. Shit. Ask Bill Martell what’s happened to some of his screenplays… Some idiot wants his girlfriend in a movie… His kid. Whatever… Shit starts falling apart.
This is a script I would have rather seen made by the prodco I’m hooked up with but there’s still no distribution out there to be had unless you go with the studios. Anyway, I went ahead and sent out 20 copies thus far and as I’ve said… Good feedback. Meetings are bound to happen.
If I call back. LOL.
Just not sure I want to play this game anymore… Sure, if I could see MY vision hit the screen, that would be one thing but the way Hollywood is crawling in and out of the shadows right now? Who the fuck knows what’ll happen.
I can tell you this… It’s gonna take some BALLS to put MY VISION up on the screen. Trust me on that. Not sure if anyone actually has any balls anymore… I guess we shall see.
So for the first time in my life I seem to be in a really favorable position with a screenplay I’ve written and I just don’t give a shit… LOL.
Crazy.
Maybe I just need to get drunk. Sometimes it actually helps and I haven’t been drunk in YEARS. I think some of what’s bothering me is the fucking SALESMAN messages I keep getting… Jesus. I know that’s the way the game is played MOST of the time but I get so tired of that shit. Most of the calls are so vague i.e., they like it — they’re worried about this part or that part but they think it could be a franchise… Yada yada.
So NONCOMMITAL. LOL. Sure, I understand that… People want and NEED to keep their jobs so BALLS grow smaller instead of larger when they read a script that THEY want to do but can’t make the final decision on.
So the merry-go-round begins to spin and I stand there letting it keep spinning… Waiting for just the right time to jump on.
Or not.
Unk
EDIT: This just in: Shifting Indie Scene
Comments
19 Responses to “Death Becomes Me”
Leave a Reply



A big amen brother to you and your IDGASA. That’s I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ATTITUDE. It was like we were connecting through steaming auras or something.
I have been attempting to get some reads on my latest comedy FLIPPING MAD over the past week. Several nibbles and no full mouth biting yet. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
“BALLS grow smaller instead of larger…”
Nice. The all-caps serve you well.
producer just last week asked me for my script.
DO NOT feel like calling him back.
nothing against him just tired of playing the game.
be thankfull your on the outher side of the hill.
I’m going through something very, very similar.
Scripts delivered on a Friday. Notes and calls received on the following Monday.
All positive. All stellar. And of course with minor notes. But from people who really get the story. Get the genre. Get what kind of entertainment this thing is supposed to be.
Rewrites turned around in a week.
Pitches, producers, and agents. All pumped. Taking my work around town like they just discovered masturbation — and man they gotta tell everybody. Blowing smoke up my ass — and no lie, it feels great.
And at the same time, the more things roll my way. The more people see the vision I had. The more people tell me “I love it.” “It’s amazing.”
I find myself doubting myself more than ever.
If it’s so great, why hasn’t it happened yet.
P.S. Maybe I missed the whole point of your post Unk and am just ranting about my own insecurities. For what it’s worth congrats (If you’re like me, you probably hate me now for saying that). What I really mean to say is let’s grab a beer and oggle hot chicks. — you got my email :p Laters.
You know the famous zen saying, right?
If you meet the Buddha in the road on your journey, kill him. http://killingthebuddha.com/manifesto/
So it’s a good place for one’s mind to be …
Spencer,
Thanks…
Eric,
We love using ALL CAPS when we need to… LOL.
tom,
And if I wasn’t? On the other side of the hill I mean… Uh… I did bust my ass to get here so that’s something.
james,
No point to the post… That’s why I listed it under RANTS… LOL. Just me fucking rambling as usual. I don’t mind you sharing at all. Just do one thing for me… Have YOUR attorney look over EVERYTHING before you sign one piece of paper.
Josh,
The divine and myself are like this (crosses fingers). LOL. We just don’t always agree.
Unk
Ha. We’re sittin’ on the same couch, Unk. Took me a while after all the tragedy, but, as I’ve been telling everyone who asks for my next book: I’m finally enjoying living instead of just writing about people who enjoy living. LOL.
Gotta love it!
On the upside, you get paid to write and producers read your work.
Can I dress up as you and go to your meetings?
Uhh. I wasn’t trying to sound like a dick, BTW.
I’m just jealous.
I hope you get to where you want to be soon.
Even your rants are great. :-)
I feel where you’re coming from. I find that I have so much fun theorizing that I can be satisfied with it. I should actually have more movies finished but I find myself studying all the time.
I can say that i actually write certain ones that I would love to see but don’t really care and certain ones where I would… whatever I needed to to actually see.
But I guess an option is vindication and money to keep writing so those work for me.
Funny thing is that my writing is I think even better now. I got my first dialog transition and my poetry is seeping back as I cut back on reading theory.
I actually wrote some good pages this weekend on one of those commercial pay the bills movies I have. The improvement feels as good as getting a call about ones that are out there.
Rant on, bud.
So make sure you direct the bastard yourself. If you can chase down and tell off a Harley biker who gives you the middle finger, you can direct a fucking movie.
And if they don’t like it, tell them where to get off.
come on bro! suck it up! you wrote a script you’re happy with. take it to the slaughterhouse with a smile on your face. :)
we raise our babies in the womb then let someone else raise them. that’s what we screenwriters do. it’s not easy on the womb or the soul. then there are novelists and writer/directors – and they deal with shit too. not giving a shit is ok. always do the right thing. always follow your bliss. always follow your intuition.
campbell said or quoted someone saying something like “just jump off the cliff, the gods will catch you”. uhhmmm… does that help? :)
BTW, that link was really interesting. It’s a brave new world, but I found a really uplifting link.
It was on Variety of all places and IS GREAT NEWS for indie producers.
THe gist of it was a $525M fund designed to outfit the major theater chains to digital and even 3D projection.
Check it out
Digital coming soon
“It’s gonna take some BALLS to put MY VISION up on the screen.”
An honesty that’s become so rare.
Unlike those writers who lie and try and make you (and themselves) believe they’ve written something guaranteed to make gazillions.
Rita May Brown: “You sell a screenplay like you sell a car. If someone drives it off a cliff, that’s it.”
[...] What is the right attitude AFTER sending out a script? This is UNK’s. [...]
Holy shit Unk!
The ball is in your court now! Be like an employer… The piece of shit who follows through and keeps calling you back is the most serious about the “job”!
This could be the GOLDEN TICKET… That gets you closer to your dreams!
Completely agreed, Unk. Congrats and good on you. Emotional distance is empowering!
Watch, giving up on Hollywood will make Hollywood want you even more. There’s nothing they love more than someone playing hard to get.
BTW- My little blog’s been getting some visits from a link on your twitter page. So I thought I’d drop you a line to thank you for the visits.
I’ll do the indie fests for ya.