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Common Screenwriting Mistakes… Part 1

I’ve been reading two or three screenplays a week for the last few months… From indie filmmakers, all the way to a few Pro screenwriters and it’s amazing to me how some of these common mistakes really slow down the reading enjoyment.

It’s true… You have to know how to write a good story and then be able to translate that story to screenplay format but make no mistake… Breaking into the business can be largely a “numbers game” so why take chances by allowing mistakes in your screenplay when, with just a little commitment, you can easily take care of these mistakes BEFORE allowing ANYONE to read it?

Don’t you OWE it to yourself to insure that your screenplay is the very best it can be? If you’re an indie low or no budget filmmaker, don’t you owe it to everyone involved in your project and vision to make sure that your screenplay is the very best it can be?

Now that I’m playing the role of a producer-screenwriter, I’m reading several screenplays from screenwriters each week. That’s just me. I know professional readers that take 10 to 15 screenplays home to read over the weekend and that doesn’t include all the screenplays they read during the week.

If studios, readers, prodcos, agents, and producers are passing on all these PROFESSIONALLY written screenplays, don’t you think it’s important that your work at least LOOK professional too?

What I’m about to go over right now are the common mistakes EVERYONE seems to be making these days… These are the kinds of mistakes that make readers, producers, agents, et al, shake their head, role their eyes, and most importantly, PASS on your screenplay.

Location descriptions…

Do your research! Don’t use an incorrect name for a location when, in less than 5 minutes you can find the correct terminology on the internet. If you’re describing a bowling alley, go to a bowling alley and ask the names of everything that you’re not sure about… If you’re describing an bicycle factory, don’t be vague about the equipment and make us guess what you’re talking about…

Don’t be lazy.

Keep your descriptions brief yet visual so we can see in our minds exactly what you’re describing. Avoid excessive description for any location unless it is absolutely germane to the story. Just give us a taste. Try to use descriptions that not only describe the location but set the mood and tone you’re trying to get us to feel.

If you absolutely must use the same location for a large part of your screenplay, try like hell to mix it up! Don’t use all exterior or interior locations. Switch back and forth. Don’t use all day or all night — switch back and forth. Don’t have your characters always sitting in the same places… Move them around. Make them play with stuff while the action takes place. Have them open a window, turn on a light, slam a door, look for something that’s lost, smell their clothes on the floor.. LOL. Make something happen instead of showing us talking heads.

Characters…

Don’t take an entire paragraph to describe your character… Keep it brief and select the PERFECT words to describe their appearance AS WELL AS their overall attitude. Only describe clothing and hair if it’s important for us to know i.e., has something to do with the story. Stay away from the cliché descriptions I keep reading like, ‘tall and handsome’ or ’stunning and beautiful.’ Mix it up and make it interesting! How about ‘deviously gorgeous’ or ‘chiseled features?’ Just like describing locations, give us a picture AND a mood. In fact, location and character descriptions are about the ONLY PLACE where it’s acceptable to tell us something we cannot see to give us an emotional feeling about the location or character.

Age and sex. I can’t tell you how many times screenwriters fail to include this OH SO BASIC information. On top of that, unless an action by a character is once again, germane to the story, try to be consistent with the actions of the characters after you’ve told us their age and sex. Of course it’s okay to have your character do something OUT of character… That’s a part of good storytelling but don’t bounce your character all over the place for no apparent reason or you’ll only succeed in confusing us. In other words, don’t have your 36 year old male character hanging out with 14 and 15 year olds at the local skate park unless it has something to do with the story. Make your character’s actions and dialogue consistent with their age and sex. It’s unbelievable for us to hear a 50 year old woman say something like, “What’s up Dude?” –Unless of course there’s a REASON for her to do that. Be consistent. Don’t assume that we know the age and sex of your characters because of their actions, dialogue, and names.

Dialogue…

Whew… This is a big one! First the basic rule… Good dialogue is used to move the story forward, reveal character, and provide backstory when necessary. Don’t have your characters tell us the story we never read about in your screenplay. Don’t have your characters draw conclusions about anything unless you’ve shown us the same information they are drawing their conclusions from. Don’t try to rewrite the English language i.e, don’t try to write out a southern drawl… That’s confusing. Stick “southern drawl” in a parenthetical. Which brings me to parentheticals… Don’t direct your characters. Don’t have your characters PREACH to us! Don’t use your characters to tell us what YOUR OPINIONS are. If you want to explore a particular theme in your story, come up with ways of spoon feeding it to us instead of having your characters preach to us. Making your characters preach to us feels more like the WRITER has an agenda than telling a story i.e., PASS!

Avoid ON-THE-NOSE dialogue. If you don’t know what on-the-nose dialogue is, it’s when you have your characters say EXACTLY WHAT THEY MEAN. Most people rarely say exactly what they mean and remember… A movie should be no different. As you go throughout your day, take a few minutes to really listen to the people talking to you. Hell, listen to yourself! There is almost ALWAYS subtext involved in conversation. There’s almost always a much more real meaning under the surface. Just peel it back. Your dialogue needs to be exactly the same. Even more so! On-the-nose dialogue is okay when used sparingly but it’s mostly appropriate for children, officials (like a cop stopping someone for a ticket), and when the story calls for dialogue to be absolutely on-the-nose which is not very often. Let us read between the lines. Don’t have your characters explain every detail of whatever you’ve got them talking about. Give us some credit to be able to draw OUR OWN conclusions.

Unless you’re Kevin Smith or emulating his style of screenwriting, keep it as visual as possible. Make your characters actually DO SOMETHING we can see instead of having them tell us they did it. By the same token, don’t have your characters telegraph their next move… Just move them!

Don’t let your character banter unless it has something to do with the story… There’s also no need to have each character say the character’s name they are speaking to… Most people don’t do this so don’t have your characters do it.

Again, no action lines in a parenthetical. That’s what action lines are for and then, only use a parenthetical when it might be somewhat unclear as to the character’s attitude or mood. Having said that, there’s almost always a way to reveal that through the character’s dialogue.

I’m read a few scripts lately where characters talk to themselves throughout the story. Wow, I don’t talk to myself. I think thoughts. I type thoughts but RARELY do I actually talk to myself. DO YOU? It’s simply not believable unless the character is a mental patient. It’s okay to occasionally have your characters say something to themselves. Normally, they might shout a cuss word or even remember something short that someone told them. But please, no discussions with themselves unless it is important to the story.

Unless you’re as good as Quentin Tarantino, it’s usually not a good idea to have your character REPEAT what another character JUST TOLD THEM. We don’t need this reiteration.

Don’t show and then tell. Just show. In other words, don’t have your character physically do something and then have him or her tell somebody what they just did.

Try to avoid excessive use of voiceovers unless your story is being told throughout by a voiceover. Showing is always better than telling. That’s why they call them motion pictures and not telling pictures.

This goes back to locations but is just as important for dialogue… Don’t write a couple of pages of dialogue without breaking it up with some action lines. Move your characters around during their discussions. Figure out ways to have MORE than just the conversation going on. If you can parallel the conversation with the action, go for it. In this regard, SHOW and TELL but don’t tell what you’ve already shown.

Try to keep your dialogue short and to the point. No banter. No polite greetings. Get in and get out. Don’t take 3 or 4 instances of dialogue to have your character get to the point.

Give your characters a DISTINCT VOICE. You cannot simply assume that having different actors playing your characters will be enough to give them their own distinct voice. YOU have to give them their own distinct voice. A great way to see if you’ve given your characters a distinct voice is to cover their names and read several of the characters’ lines of dialogue out loud. Do they all sound the same? Do they all create sentences the same? This is an extreme example of course but take the character, YODA… If I were to read several of his lines out loud, you would immediately know who this character is. That’s what you need to strive for.

Unk




Thursday: 6 July 2006|0937|Under Mistakes

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Comments

7 Responses to “Common Screenwriting Mistakes… Part 1”

  1. wcdixon on Thursday: 6 July 2006|1155

    So - you read any scripts lately without all those common mistakes?

    I, for example, thought the final draft of ‘The Matrix’ was very good, though it is very different and certainly more interesting and cleaner than the early drafts.

    Same with Charlie Kaufman’s ‘Eternal Sunshine’, but it was also quite different than earlier drafts. It came a long ways.

    And I’ve admired pretty much everything written by Shane Black.

    In tv land, the list is longer.

    Anyway, I find that it can be easy (not being critical here, just thinking aloud) to point out what’s wrong or bad or sloppy or whatever about a screenplay - so making suggestions to help fix should also accompany the criticisms (and you did that - yay!) - but are there screenplays/tv episode scripts floating around out there that do all the things you are talking about…’right’? - just for reference, ya know.

  2. Unknown Screenwriter on Thursday: 6 July 2006|1239

    Oh yeah! There are some great screenplays out there! One of my favorites is THE FUGITIVE - EARLY DRAFT and BREAKDOWN. Very well structured and written screenplays. Most of the screenplays that have already had films made from them are actually quite good.

    I was talking more about spec screenplays that I’ve been reading recently both from professionals and those simply trying to break into the industry.

    My “guesstimate” is that maybe 1 screenplay out of 15 is well written without the mistakes…

    Not good.

    Unk

  3. wcdixon on Thursday: 6 July 2006|2022

    gotcha - and yes thanks for mentioning Fugitive Early Draft…it was good but nice to see it earlier in writing process. You’re right, most that get made or end up online have been through so many hands and/or revisions, they may look nothing like their original ’spec’ form (where mistakes may have been abundant).

    So my next question is… how much are you able to let some of the mistakes go and keep reading? I realize this is entirely dependent on whether it has a premise/hook that has you intrigued…or a really engaging character/dialogue…but I know from my experience - if the mistakes become so much that I feel like I’m story editing instead of reading/enjoying, I will sometimes put script down.

  4. The Moviequill on Friday: 7 July 2006|0507

    if you happen to have a pdf of what you consider a superb example I’d love to read it, inhale it and absorb it…so send it along. As I have said before, love the tips

  5. Unknown Screenwriter on Friday: 7 July 2006|1647

    I guess I’ve been pretty lucky… I would have to say that just about every screenplay that I’ve read that was littered with problems i.e., format, description, dialogue, etc. also failed miserably with its story and structure.

    Having said that…

    There’s also been a few screenplays that I’ve read with the same problems outlined above but had a great enough concept to keep me reading. In other words, I could tell right away that while the execution was terrible, the idea was awesome and the idea alone (or concept) kept me reading through to the end.

    However, if the concept is cliché and the screenplay has all the problems outlined above… FUGHEDABOUDIT. I ain’t readin’ it.

    Unk

  6. Unknown Screenwriter on Friday: 7 July 2006|1650

    MovieQuill… I’ll send you some PDF versions of screenplays that I think are very defining on what we all need to be doing…

    Unk

  7. Carlo on Wednesday: 8 August 2007|0338

    Have you ever stopped reading a screenplay that has a horrible story/structure, but is written with barely any mistakes at all? :P haha

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