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Bad movies are all my fault…

Okay, I’m so busy today and so many liked Tabre’s email that I figured I’d throw up another… I mean it is FRIDAY, right? This email came from someone that stuck a Ph.D. at the end of his last name along with his position at a university. LOL. Me thinks Graham is simply a frustrated screenwriter writing stuff that nobody fucking understands… Here’s his email:

Dear Unknown Screenwriter,

I read with interest, your post on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Unfortunately, you’ve failed to realize that Maslow got it WRONG. His hierarchy is complete nonsense and there is new research in the academic world that lends credence to the fact that most human desires are the result of genetic pre-disposition.

While I am certainly not a screenwriter, I can say that I do enjoy the infrequent film from time to time and it’s always the same predictable garbage and I for one wish I could request a refund. Are you screenwriters secretly meeting once a month and worshipping Maslow? Is there an underground organization within the movie studios to further this tripe?

This could easily explain why so many films these days are completely unbelievable. With “so-called experts” like yourself chanting the mantra of Maslow; no wonder most movies these days are completely inane.

You are being quite irresponsible by praising Maslow and touting his theories as no doubt, your “followers” will end up doing as well. If this persists, I will have no recourse other than to stop attending the cinema.

Graham

My email to Graham:

Graham,

If I CORRECTLY read between the lines of your email, you are, in your own way, blaming ME for all the shitty movies that are being released. Well, maybe not just me… Me and all my followers that meet once a month to chant and dance around the campfire, “MASLOW! MASLOW! MASLOW! MASLOW!”

I find it ironic and interesting at the same time that you work at a university and even claim to have a Ph.D. yet all you do is simply tell me that Maslow got it wrong and is complete nonsense. I mean you went out of your way to send me an email; why not go a little more out of your way and cite some reference material for me?

Could it be that you have no reference material to cite? Could it be that after all these years, there’s really no groundbreaking dissenting research that’s been able to completely disprove Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?

Or… As I suspect… Could it be that you’re just a guy who hates working at a university and instead, longs for a shot at the movies? Hell, maybe you’re just a frustrated screenwriter like the rest of us…

Could it be?

Who gives a shit?

Graham, I don’t give a shit if Maslow was right or wrong and I’ll tell you why… IT DOESN’T MATTER. His hierarchy of needs makes just enough sense and rings just enough true that I feel it’s a great little tool to help the fledgling screenwriter better understand people and their basic motivations.

That’s all. I’m not an amateur psychologist; I’m just a guy WITH NO FOLLOWERS who’s trying to write better screenplays.

If the fledgling screenwriter can better understand people, he or she very likely has a better chance to be able to develop believable characters. Maslow is simply a starting point. At no time did I preach it as the gospel. At no time did I tell anyone that THIS IS IT AND THERE AIN’T NO MORE.

That would be STUPID… Kinda like your email to me.

Maybe if you had cited the research and book written by Steven Reiss, Ph.D., professor of psychology and psychiatry at Ohio State University, I would sit up and take a little more notice of your email. I for one have read his book, “Who Am I? The 16 Basic Desires That Motivate Our Behavior and Define Our Personality” — have you? If not, I suggest you pick up a copy over at Amazon.com:

Dr. Reiss seems to be the only one to have done any research that might actually dissent with Maslow’s theory yet, even he does not completely discount Maslow’s work. Is this possibly the material that you’re referring to? Oops. I mean the material that you’re NOT referring to?

If it were me and I was going to refer a fledgling screenwriter like myself to any material beyond Maslow, the above book is definitely the book I would recommend… I only mention this just in case you need to know that when you write another screenwriter about how we’ve all fucked up the movies.

In reality however, I find Dr. Reiss’ book to be the kind of material one should pick up only after becoming familiar with Maslow’s theory. I find that his book goes beyond Maslow’s BASICS and delves into the whys and wherefores of how each individual actually differs from each other when it comes to their motivations and desires.

I would not however, simply refer a fledgling screenwriter to Reiss’ work until they have at least read and digested Maslow as a starting point which is exactly why I mentioned Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in my post.

Now go finish your screenplay…

Unk

—Like Tabre, Graham never wrote me back but unlike Tabre, I think Graham visits here fairly regularly. At least that’s what my server logs show. LOL. So if that’s true, I only have one question, Graham? Have you read the book yet?

Unk

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Friday: 30 March 2007|1420|Under Uncategorized

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33 Responses to “Bad movies are all my fault…”

  1. Moviequill on Friday: 30 March 2007|1631

    I think he meant Dr. Maslow from “Body Electric”

    http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0426415/

  2. David Anaxagoras on Friday: 30 March 2007|1642

    Isn’t it funny that some of the noisiest, nastiest critics are often the most frequent visitors? I often see old detractors pop up in my logs. (Don’t they know WE CAN SEE THEM?!?) In fact, I print out and keep dated records on one guy — just in case I ever have to take legal action. You never know with some of these nuts. Anyway, the saddest thing is — like a third-grade bully, what they really mean when they say “you suck” is, “I wish you would be my friend.”

  3. Unk on Friday: 30 March 2007|1649

    MovieQuill,

    Oops! Graham, NEVER MIND.

    David,

    I never really thought about that… Interesting! But NO, I won’t be their friend. LOL.

    Unk

  4. Ann Wesley Hardin on Friday: 30 March 2007|1854

    While I am certainly not a screenwriter, I can say that I do enjoy the infrequent film from time to time and it’s always the same predictable garbage and I for one wish I could request a refund.

    Is it me or does this babbling, oops I mean run-on, sentence make no sense whatsoever?

    He “enjoys” the “infrequent” film “from time to time.”

    Dude, “infrequent” MEANS “from time to time.” And if it’s aways the same predictable garbage, how do you, oops I mean how does ONE, enjoy it?

    That would be STUPID… Kinda like your email to me.

    You Crack. Me. Up.

  5. Poke on Friday: 30 March 2007|1959

    Unk,

    As a person who has stepped foot on a college campus, I find this post to be of the uptmost futility. I wear glasses and have a goatee, so I know what I’m talking about. I also disagree with your use of the word shit. It should only be used in conjunction with my screenwriting.

    Poke
    Ph.D. in Quantum Squatum
    Bulle Scheisse University in Berlin

    P.S. I drink coffee and have “experimented” with drugs. Have you seen my beret?

  6. Unk on Friday: 30 March 2007|2021

    Poke,

    Eloquent as ever… LOL.

    Unk

  7. mm on Saturday: 31 March 2007|1838

    Whoaa!! You told him.

  8. Isdor on Sunday: 1 April 2007|0242

    I think you got it backwards… What empirical did this Maslow character use to come up with his theory?

  9. Ann Wesley Hardin on Sunday: 1 April 2007|0908

    My eyes! My eyes! It’s so white in here. Not sure if it’s on your color wheel, Unk, but it does make it easier to read. Kudos.

  10. spatula on Sunday: 1 April 2007|0957

    Wow.
    I’m actually jealous that you get hate mail. I WISH people paid enough attention to me to take moments out of their lives to bitch about things that don’t even exist. All I get is ads for Viagra and HOT GAY PORN.
    You’ve made EXTRA effort to say “I am not the only way to screenwriting success!”, and yet these DOOFUSES keep rattling your internet cage trying to take you down!
    Wow.

    Ok- but here’s what you do… since we’re looking at character types, I think you should take every hate mail you get, and profile them, in accordance to the different types of personalities. Show the email, dissect the language, and figure out WHO these people are. If anything, we’ll get some hands-down, bloody-good “primary resources” to research specific character types. Hell- even throw in a few gushing uber-fan mails to flesh out the other character types.

    I think Tabre is The Flamboyant, and Dr.PHD is The Manipulator… How’d I do? Will I make a good shrink?

    -Denis Logan P.H.D (two, actually)

  11. Joshua James on Sunday: 1 April 2007|1108

    Unk, I dig the new look!

  12. Ann Wesley Hardin on Sunday: 1 April 2007|1418

    I like Spat’s idea.

  13. James on Sunday: 1 April 2007|1524

    Just cop to it Unk.

    You know you are responsible for every bad movie ever made.

  14. Moviequill on Sunday: 1 April 2007|1654

    somebody does turnst the lights on here within

  15. Mystery Man on Sunday: 1 April 2007|1845

    God, I love hate mail. That’s half the reason I post reviews on TriggerStreet. Hehehe…

    I’m with Ann Wesley Hardin on this one. The fact that he only sees the “infrequent film” means that his opinion is uninformed and basically worthless and, as far as I’m concerned, invalidates all of his other opinions as well. You would think that someone with a PhD would know how to construct a valid argument.

    While few and far between, there are still great films out there. You just have to know where to look.

    -MM

  16. taZ on Monday: 2 April 2007|0253

    You know you’re popular when you get hate email.

    This light thing is good! Takes away the unknown-mystery thing a bit but it’s nice.

    Take care,

    taZ

  17. Unk on Monday: 2 April 2007|0654

    Ann,

    I was just playing around with css code… It’s too damn bright for me… It’s like a flashlight or something… LOL. I forgot to add that one email in 20 says they love the blog but it hurts their eyes.

    So I started screwing around with the css and ended up here… I am not however, convinced that I should keep the new look.

    Spat,

    Interesting idea… I think I already do that with just about everyone anyway… LOL.

    Josh,

    Glad YOU like it… Want it? LOL.

    James,

    It’s all me. I am to blame for EVERYTHING.

    E V E R Y T H I N G !

    Moviequill,

    I know I know… And I like the lights OFF.

    MM,

    Somehow I knew you’d love hate mail… Me 2 (that’s for you, Tabre).

    taZ,

    Not sure if I’m liking the light… Maybe I’ll give it a week.

    Unk

  18. $1000 on Monday: 2 April 2007|0925

    What bothers me about Graham’s email is not the poor grammar, or even the lack of a coherent argument, it’s the fact that he’s judging all screen writing on the basis of the output of the multiplex.

    Graham there is a whole world of cinema out there, most of it aimed at audiences other than kind of people who think Smokin Aces is bitchin’

    If he’s bored of multiplex fodder then he could take his business elsewhere.

    Can I suggest he starts with Tarkovsky’s “Stalker”

    If he finds that predictable garbage then maybe the cinema isn’t for him and he can go back to reading — which is what I do these days.

  19. suburban screenwriter on Monday: 2 April 2007|1058

    Unk–

    I had to refresh the site cause I was so used to the black I thought something was wrong with my screen…it’ll take awhile to get used to it.

    You know the moment someone has to bring up there PhD that the next words out of their mouth are how pretentious they are…

    …As for blame for the downfall of movies why didnt he just blame you for the downfall of western civilization as we know it???…

    Whackjobs coming out of the woodwork for sure–send some of those my way and I can take a few rounds with them. :)

    SS

  20. Ann Wesley Hardin on Monday: 2 April 2007|1108

    Psssst, Unk is responsible for the downfall of western civilization as we know it. Pass it on…

  21. Unk on Monday: 2 April 2007|1114

    $1000,

    Agreed.

    SS,

    I don’t even know if I like the look yet… They say that when one in 20 people care enough to actually send out an email about a problem… You apparently DO have a problem. LOL. We shall see… Hopefully the link leading to your site will send a few of ‘em your way…

    Ann,

    I thought we were KEEPING each other’s secrets? I see how you are now…

    Unk

  22. Larrik Jaerico on Monday: 2 April 2007|1130

    Personally, I think the new colors are an improvement.

  23. Ann Wesley Hardin on Monday: 2 April 2007|1209

    I know nothink.

  24. $1000 on Monday: 2 April 2007|1339

    By the way, I bought a new tiger print loin cloth for the chanting and singing at the next script writer’s campfire night.

    It’s velour!

    I’ve also collected a huge amount of wicker, just in case Graham decides to come along and get himself initiated.

    (This would be original Edward Woodward old school wicker, rather than the synthetic Nick Cage version, which apparently isn’t flame retardant)

  25. $1000 on Monday: 2 April 2007|1342

    Oh, and if someone can lend me $499 my (life experience) Ph.D can be with me in under five days!

  26. suburban screenwriter on Monday: 2 April 2007|1419

    are we sacrificing any virgins at the next meeting?

  27. Unk on Monday: 2 April 2007|1559

    $1000,

    All I need is two or three more sales of Write Your Screenplay in 28 Days or Less! and I can loan you the $499.

    Unless that’s in POUNDS… LOL.

    SS,

    We are DEFINITELY sacrificing virgins at the next meeting.

    Unk

  28. Ann Wesley Hardin on Monday: 2 April 2007|1704

    Unk, I see through your flimsy ploys. We’ve been over this already and I’m NOT doing the naked virgin fire dance for you again until you finish those rewrites!

  29. Khid on Monday: 2 April 2007|1815

    AHGGGHHH MY EYES! TOO BRIGHT TOO BRIGHT–

    Does not fit Unk’s personality. Shutting down.

  30. Unk on Monday: 2 April 2007|1900

    Khid,

    It’s KILLING ME TOO… Might have to switch back. Hmmm. Maybe I should take a poll… Hmmm. Shit, if I do that, then I would feel obligated to keep the switch if this design wins.

    Or would I?

    Unk

  31. Khid on Monday: 2 April 2007|1902

    Uhm. Didn’t you spring it on us without warning? Did we GET a vote in the first place?

    I think you should just spring it on everyone again.
    ¡¡¡¡MY EYES!!!!

  32. spatula on Monday: 2 April 2007|1921

    Frankly I like the lighter tones. You people spend WAY too much time in dark basements! :P

  33. Mitch on Wednesday: 4 April 2007|0716

    Damn! I was going to quote Maslow in my screenplay. But if a Ph.D. says it’s bunk, it must be, right? Don’t they know everything?

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