28 days later…
Posted on February 16, 2007
Filed Under Uncategorized
Holy shit! Today is my lucky fucking day! I open up my email and there it is boys and girls… An email telling me to go to the following site: MovieInAMonth.com — and away I go…
My mind is spinning… Here I am on a rewrite that I’ve been literally working on for MONTHS and MONTHS and then someone drops the secret to writing a screenplay in 28 days (or less!) in my fucking lap! Ah… The screenwriting Gods are definitely smiling down on me! A quick click on over to MovieInAMonth.com gets me salivating in mere seconds!
Five minutes? Hell yeah, I have five minutes! Shit, take ten minutes! Sell it to Hollywood? BIG MONEY? Thank you, Screenwriting Gods!
Then the letter to ME… Well, not ME personally but almost me… They sent ME an email, right? That must mean I’m their friend… So yeah, the letter is to ME…
These people REALLY UNDERSTAND writers! This must be ONE HELL OF A PRODUCT! Even my enemies are going to appreciate MY talent! Where do I fuckin’ SIGN?????
Big, fat, healthy wads of cash? Shit! Where would I put it all? Celebrity parties in both Hollywood AND London? I am SO FUCKING THERE… Those are some pretty fuckin’ cool bennies that I WILL be enjoying in just ONE MONTH FROM NOW.
Hold it… I thought it was 28 days?
No matter… Two extra days never killed anyone… Let’s move on…
James Lamberg? Cool. Let’s head on over to IMDB and see what James has done… A quick search of James Lamberg reveals… Hmmm. Nothing. That’s gotta be a mistake. Oh yeah, he’s also GHOST-WRITTEN over fifty screenplays… Cool. No problem then. He likes his privacy. I can hang with that.
Mark Lewin? Steven Wanamaker? Outstanding! Uh… Who are they again? Bam! Back over to IMDB with a quick search of Mark Lewin… Hmmm. Looks like Mark starred in a movie called STARRCADE as himself… Hmmm. STARRCADE was written by Dory Funk Jr. and Dusty Rhodes. Hmmm. Looks like these guys are professional wrestlers… Cool! Pro wrestlers are going to REVEAL the SECRETS of SCREENWRITING in 28 DAYS to me! How can I fucking MISS????? Hey, Dusty Rhodes sounds like a ghostwriter …
Steven Wanamaker? Better look ol’ Steve up on IMDB too… Hmmm. Nothing there. Fuck it. These guys just don’t want a bunch of publicity like me… They like their privacy. I can hang with that…
A screenplay is a movie script? Holy shit! This site is chock full of information! Too fuckin’ cool. I’m glad they pointed that out because I’ve always wondered if I was a screenplay writer, movie script writer, writer, or SCREENWRITER. I guess I’m ALL THE ABOVE! Thanks guys!
Wow… A TESTIMONIAL from Nick Daws ! Let’s read it:
Wow! No wonder Nick wrote them a testimonial… Check out Nick’s own writing course: Write Any Book in 28 Days or Less! So am I getting this straight? For just under $150.00, I can write both a screenplay AND a fuckin’ book in 28 days or less? I wonder if I bought both courses if I could write BOTH a screenplay AND a book in 28 days or less or do I have to write one first (in 28 days or less) and then the other? Fuck it… 56 days is NOTHING for FAME, POWER, APPRECIATION, and a buttload of er, ah… Wad of cash!
Hmmm. Interesting… Both web sites use the same “DEAR FRIEND” image:
Oh… I get it… James must have hit Nick up for the image to save money… That fuckin’ Nick is pretty fuckin’ cool… A testimonial AND an image off his own web site! Us writers have to stick together I guess… Or is it us movie script writers… Or is it us screenplay writers… Or is it just us writers or us screenwriters? Who cares? It’s gettin’ so good that I just wanna scroll down to the bottom of the site and click the purchase button… $97 ain’t shit when you consider all that appreciation you’re gonna get.
But no… $97 is still a lot of money… That’s a LOT of Americanos at my favorite coffee shop. Let’s see… $97 divided by $1.86 = 52 Americanos! I drink at least two Americanos every visit… That’s 26 coffee shop visits worth of Americanos… Hmmm. Maybe I better read a little more…
Uh-oh… Now they’re starting to SCARE ME!
WHEW! Okay… For a minute there I thought I was gonna have to STOP writing screenplays… Whew! Now they’re back to talking MY LANGUAGE: WRITING MOVIES IS QUICK AND EASY!! Pardon me while I stand up a do a little fuckin’ JIG now… Twirling… Spinning… Very cool. Okay… Let’s keep going…
WTF? It took me ALL THIS TIME to figure out that I’ve been doing it all wrong for the last ten fuckin’ years! Dialogue????? The vast majority of a movie script is dialogue? No wonder it took me ten fuckin’ years to sell a screenplay. SHIT! I don’t write screenplays with a vast majority of dialogue! Wow. Another secret revealed and yet I haven’t even purchased a fuckin’ thing yet!
Stone? Shit! Another secret revealed! The RULES ARE SET IN STONE! Shit! You’re fuckin’ killin’ me, James…
There’s that VAST MAJORITY thing again… Whew. Am I glad I read that fuckin’ email… This is going to save me so much time and effort! No more writing LOSER SCRIPTS for me! Thank you Screenwriting Gods! How can I miss? STEP-BY-STEP, GUARANTEED TO WORK PROCESS… My heart is beating so fast I can barely stand it… And he’s willing to SHARE for only $97! Time for another little jig… Twirling… Spinning. Oh yeah.
Another testimonial:
I guess Dr. Harris hasn’t gone the full 28 days yet… Pretty nice of her to write a testimonial even BEFORE the 28 days were up. Fuckin’ cool!
Hold the fuckin’ phone James! Five words?
I am totally fucking STUNNED myself! I’m NOT WORTHY…
Shit! Where are the five words? Do I just pick a random five from the above quotes? Or are these five words in the course? Shit. Three days to write ROCKY? Hmmm. A quick Google search leads me to this page:
Where the guy in the audience who posted the above web page reviewed the movie and the Q & A that followed:
Okay, so maybe Sly lied to James way back when… It happens… After all — he is Sly… But WAIT! It’s in Wikipedia SO IT MUST BE TRUE! So is James going to give me Sly’s secret to writing a script in three days? Or, did James slam Sly’s secret together with HIS SECRET and instead of making it sound TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, he’s giving me 28 days to write a three day screenplay?
I’m confused but he’s GOT ME… I’m HOOKED! Gots to read on…
A testimonial from a screenwriter in Florida:
I looked Kelly Schweter up on IMDB but no luck… She did say she sold her screenplays to local companies however… Moving on…
Now we’re gettin’ somewhere! James finally names some of the movies he’s done… Let’s check them out on IMDB:
Hmmm. The closest I can find to BLUE LAKE is BLUE LAKE MASSACRE and BLUE LIKE ISOLATION but those are being made in 2007. Nope… Written by Michael Paloma and Justin D. Hilliard… Something tells me James Lamberg isn’t GHOSTING as either one of these guys… Hmmm. Hey WAIT! Maybe this is it:
Naaah… Damn. What about a search for IF I ONLY HAD THE COURAGE… Nope. Nothing there either. How about UNCERTAIN ANCESTRY… Crap. Nothing. These movies gotta be big since James mentions them on the web site, right? What’s next? LEWIN’S BASKET and FAKELORE ?
Still nothing… But HEY! Maybe LEWIN’S BASKET has something to do with Mark Lewin mentioned above… Let’s go back to that search… No… Nothing there but since Mr. Lewin played himself in STARRCADE, I’m assuming he plays himself in LEWIN’S BASKET? So he’s kinda like Billy Bob Thornton… He writes AND acts! But who cares about that? I think I’m finally getting the picture. This stuff IS SO DAMN SECRET that the only way to get it is to pay for it… Cool!
Okay… That explains the “Dear Friend” image… Whew. I think we’re finally getting to the NITTY-GRITTY here… James is going to SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT! I’m ALL FOR THAT. Wow… Then he started COLLATING his industry secrets. That means there’s more than one, right? Fuckin’ cool!
“I wanted to take the MYTH out of Hollywood - and inject PURE FACTS.”
Pure facts… So refreshing to hear. So many screenwriting books, gurus, workshops, screenwriters, courses, etc. tell us this stuff ain’t easy… So what I gather, it is totally fuckin’ EASY as long as you JUST FOLLOW THE FORMULA James Lamberg gives you!
Hurray! Can’t help it… Another jig… Twirling… Spinning.
Whew… Reading this?
“It contains some of the most AMAZING, MYTH-BLOWING SCREENWRITING SECRETS EVER REVEALED. It tells you the TRUTH - and it shows you EXACTLY how to get your screenplay onto the SCREEN in RECORD TIME.”
Shit! There’s even SPECIAL bonuses! ‘Kay… I’m HOLDING ONTO MY HAT… Whoa. Wait a second… Did I read that right?
“One month after we were commissioned, I finished creating the book.”
Damn! THAT IS FAST! I guess he bought Nick Daws book BEFORE he wrote HIS BOOK! Are YOU getting the picture here????
Yes, I am ready to begin experiencing HUGE success as a screenwriter… Yes, I would like to tap into over THIRTY YEARS of combined experience, from THREE prolific screenwriters - and discover how to attend the premiere of MY movie, in the QUICKEST TIME POSSIBLE!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! Show me the motherfuckin’ MONEY!
150 pages? WOW! More secrets than I’ve EVER READ in all my SO-CALLED “SCREENWRITING” books? This IS RAW! This is TRUTH… I CAN FEEL IT! Praise the Screenwriting Lord!
And NOW for the list of SECRETS!
Holy shit! The secrets… THE SECRETS! I get to learn all the above for a MERE $97? I’m almost positive no other so-called screenwriting book is going to reveal the SINGLE ITEM that all successful screenwriters have on them at all times - even (or perhaps especially!) at Hollywood parties…
WOW!
FOUR WAYS to pit my characters against each other? That’s ALL I NEED? WOW! My mind is reeling… I’m having a fucking anxiety attack as I type this… I got GOOSEBUMPS! So many secrets FOR SO LITTLE MONEY!
Are you SHITTIN’ ME? There’s MORE? More secrets? MORE SECRETS? WOW!
I gotta be HONEST… I’ve never seen so many SECRETS! This course REALLY DOES REVEAL EVERYTHING! The ABSOLUTE TRUTH behind Hollywood? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP! Producers will be BEGGING to produce my script? Query letter secrets… Scene secrets… FOUR MAJOR TURNING POINTS that I MUST have in my story… S.P.O.T. Come on SPOT! Here boy! This is just too fucking UNREAL. My head is spinning. All the work I’ve done… All the studying… All the money I THREW away on the gurus… The workshops… The books… The magazines… The scribosphere… LOL.
DOWN THE FUCKIN’ DRAIN…
I’m soooo D-I-Z-Z-Y… But WAIT! There’s MORE. MORE? No way can there be EVEN MORE but there is!
IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER! Industry jargon… Formatting like a PRO… YEAH YEAH YEAH — GIMME GIMME GIMME.
This month?
I think they call that, “IMPENDING DOOM!” So if I don’t buy this month; no little black book? That WOULD TOTALLY FUCKING SUCK. I gotta have that little black book. Whew… My mind is soaring… Can you imagine all the industry contacts that “could be” in that little black book? Fuck yeah! Why hasn’t someone revealed these secrets SOONER? Maybe THIS is part of the new SCREENWRITING REVOLUTION!
Uh-oh.
There’s more… Yup. BONUSES if YOU order BEFORE MIDNIGHT TODAY! Holy shit… How can I afford NOT to order? Take a look at these bonuses:
Over 250 screenplays AND screenplay writing software? How can they do that? HOW CAN THEY DO THAT? And check out the software… “perhaps the world’s most popular screenwriting software.”
Perhaps?
SUPER BONUS #2: 850+ BIG BUCKS MOVIE SCRIPTS! Whoohoo! 850 screenplays… Why that’s almost worth the $97 ALL BY ITSELF! CH-CHING! Where do I sign? WHERE DO I FUCKIN’ SIGN????
BANG! POW! SLAP! Holy fuckin’ black book, BATMAN… I’ve always suspected that UCLA was highly overrated… And screenwriting classes in Chicago? Get REAL!
Well I’ve been in some flea-ridden motels… So yeah… This is just about the same fuckin’ price AS STAYING A COUPLE OF NIGHTS IN A FLEA-RIDDEN MOTEL! Who knew? The CHALLENGE… ONE decent screenwriter willing to give me JUST AN HOUR of his (or her) time for $97. Hard to argue with the RAW TRUTH…
Hmmm. And this price must be some kind of new deal since it’s the LOWEST THEY’VE EVER OFFERED THE ENTIRE COURSE!! Amazing! Like I said, the Screenwriting Gods must have been gazing down my way today… I must be one of the luckiest screenwriters in the world to have received that email… And what’s more… I have no fuckin’ clue how I got on their LIST!
HOW FUCKIN’ LUCKY IS THAT?
And check out this GUARANTEE:
So that’s it then… In ONE MEASLEY YEAR, you SHOULD be able to write 13 (thirteen) screenplays! 365 days (one year) divided by 28 = 13 and some change… Well, I know we’re all busy… So let’s just say you only write ten (10) screenplays within the year… Hell, some of us are really really slow so let’s just say you walk away with five (5) screenplays at the end of the year…
CH-CHING! And, if you don’t sell the damn things, YOU GET YOUR MONEY BACK FROM James Lamberg! How can I lose on this deal? Am I just a mutton-head or is this THE GREATEST FUCKIN’ THING TO HIT THE SCREENWRITING WORLD EVER?????
Geez… He even says it AGAIN:
I think WE ALL NEED TO STAND UP AND DANCE A LITTLE JIG! Twirling… Spinning… Fuck it… One more twirl! Yeah, Baby… Get some! I guess now it’s time to buy… I don’t know… I DON’T KNOW… What should I do? I guess I need to THINK about it some more… Yeah — that’s it. Whew! It’s not really the money… I’m just not sure I can stand the pressure of several movie contracts in ONE YEAR’S TIME!
But hey… I’m an entrepreneur… If any of YOU want to go ahead and purchase… Feel free to click on the button below. It’s embedded with my own affiliate link so if only a couple of you out there decide to buy, I’ll get mine FREE! Come on… Don’t I deserve it for bringing this course to your attention?
Don’t I?
Unk
EDIT: I just realized that I totally forgot to mention that James Lamberg says in his Sylvestor Stallone headline:
“These FIVE WORDS Changed My Writing Career!
Here’s What SYLVESTER STALLONE Told Me in Los Angeles –
And Why You REALLY SHOULD Follow His Advice!”
Cool… No problem there… LOL. But right underneath THAT he writes:
“In March 1992, I met Sylvester Stallone during the launch of Planet Hollywood in London.”
So which is it James????? Los Angeles or London? I guess it doesn’t matter… LOL. Just thought I’d mention it… Wonder how long it’ll take to get changed?
Tags: 28 Days Later AMAZING MYTH-BLOWING SCREENWRITING SECRETS EVER REVEALED Americanos Blue Lake dialogue Fakelore ghostwriter Hollywood Florida If I Only Had The Courage James Lamberg Kelly Schweter Lewin’s Basket LOSER scripts Mark Lewin movie contract Movie in a Month movie script Movie Works Nick Daws Rocky Rocky Balboa S.P.O.T. screenwriting screenwriting course Screenwriting Gods secrets of screenwriting Sly Sly Stallone so-called screenwriting books Stallone STEP-BY-STEP GUARANTEED TO WORK PROCESS Steven Wanamaker Suzanne Harris Sylvestor Stallone The Unknown Screenwriter three prolific screenwriters Uncertain Ancestry Unk unknown screenwriter vast majority of scripts write a screenplay in 28 days Write Your Screenplay in 28 Days or Less!
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43 Responses to “28 days later…”
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Holy Christ, this must be like the apostles finding Jesus and some shit. I’m gonna go burn everything I own and get in on this. Thanks Unk!
Cool! I’ll check my account later… You ARE purchasing through my affiliate link… CORRECT?
Unk
http://www.be-psychic.com/psychic/
This one says if I give him five minutes, he’ll show me how to read anyone’s mind.
“Dear Friend (yeah, same one),
Have you ever DREAMT of enjoying real SUPER-HUMAN POWERS?”
Wait…he’s a psychic and he has to ask?
Still. I think I may tap into the downloadable hypnosis scripts. I see story potential…
MaryAn…
And all for $99.95!
“At just $99.95, it’s less than the cost of one night in a decent hotel room. Isn’t your psychic development worth at least that much?”
Heal sick animals? Heal relatives?
Fuck… I gotta JOIN this affiliate program too!
I predict the $$$$$ to come rolling in… Oh yeah…
Unk
LOL! Too funny, too funny.
Unk, you gotta write a comedy about all this . . . I’ll do it with ya, and we’ll have it ready to go onscreen in 28 DAYS!
Wait. WAIT! You’re telling me I spent FIVE YEARS learning to write books when all I had to do was buy Nick Daws’ how-to???
*falls sobbing*
I’ll never have that time back. NEVER!
What a waste. A waste I tell you.
*waaaaaaaaahhhhhh*
If I purchase 3 can I complete my screenplay in 9.3 days?
What should I be bringing to all the Hollywood parties?
A pen? Eight copies of my sci-fi movie trilogy? A condom? My blue Gap hoodie?
I’m buying this thing. I have to know.
Emily…
All the above?
Unk
I’m currently working on a program that’ll teach you to write a screenplay in 27 DAYS!!!!
Poke
Poke,
Better hurry and register that domain name…
27Days2PokeAScreenplay.com
Poke27.com
PokeAScreenplay.com
27PokesToAScreenplay.com
Unk
*laughing at Unk*
I smell branding…
IWannaPoke.com
PokeYourWayToHollywood.net
WhyWriteWhenYouCanPoke.org
GetPoked.com
K. Gonna go laugh myself to sleep now.
No word of a lie… I got this for Christmas from a relative (not the wife) and I spent 20 minutes going through it before dumping it on ebay and selling it for $50, which I turned around and bought Karl Iglesias’s book, the updated Trottier Bible and a box of 12 scripts from some Warner Brothers reader (much better way to spend the cash)
Wow! This is most incredbile revalation ever! For only a small sum of cash I can make great success! Doesn’t it make you feel good to have unsolicited friends like these?
By the way- BEST POST ever.
Matt…
Instead of purchasing 3, purchase one (through my affiliate link of course) and then copy the CD — save your self a couple of bucks.
MovieQuill…
I would LOVE to know what you really thought of the program… Something along the lines of an actual review would be cool.
I do feel bad… Apparently, there were three (3) visitors who believed the hype and purchased through my affiliate link.
Who said you couldn’t make money from blogs?
Spat…
Unsolicited friends. I like that. The concept — not the actuality.
To the three people who went ahead and made a purchase… I was only JOKING so please no death threat emails… I get enough of them already.
Unk
EDIT: A quick search on Google for James Lamberg shows this post as the fourth search result for him…
Oops!
HAHAHA, LOL.
Success with no brain required. Mmmmm, gotta love it.
That James Lamberg is so full of shit.
How do I know this?
Because I’m the one who holds the secret.
No lie.
The first 2000 people who send me 34.98 will get the secret.
The real secret.
Chesh…
The real secret? THE REAL SECRET?????
I’m first in line — check’s in the eMAIL.
Unk
HOLY SHIT!!! I just read some other idiot selling “The Real Secret” for 34.99. Cat, you mean to tell me I could save one cent buying it from you? Wow. Sign me up!
Unk–you can refund the money to my PayPal account, ann wesley hardin at gmaildotcom
Did I mention I bought ten copies by mistake? Don’t know how that happened. Must’ve had a sensitive mouse moment 0:)
UNK! You take the art of procrastination to a whole new level! I am in awe.
Nothing I do on my blog could ever match the genius you display.
That took me almost 30 minutes to read!
And look at ALL THE COMMENTS.
I prostrate myself before the BLINDING LIGHT that is YOU!
Enzio…
Keep spamming er ah… making comments and THEY WILL COME. LOL.
Unk
If these guys can make money (THREE purchases! Wow.. that’s surprisingly low… do people not realize the POWER of those ultimate secrets?)… then I’ve got an idea:
The Ego Buster: A Novel. Basically a self-help book for people who may feel like their ego is getting out of control, and they need a kick OFF the pedestal. It’ll be 325 pages of me insulting the reader for being stupid idiots. Because frankly- if you’re buying a self help book, the only problem with your ego, is that it’s stupid, and I hate you.
But that’s just a preview of the awesomeness of that book (only $199.99). Also, I’ll release the EXACT same book 2 years later with a new title “LEARNING HUMILITY” and market it to religious groups that think the meek inherit the Earth.
And ULTRA-special offer- if you email me before midnight, I’ll solve your ego by sending you a reply that will demean and insult you greatly. Just specify your race, religion, gender, politcal affiliations, social insurance number, credit card number, banking information, PIN number, and scan a copy of your passport as an attachment. Don’t worry- I won’t use these to steal your identity. I already have an identity. I will however, sell them to terrorists.
I’m sorry Unk- my prescene here has probably put you on a watchlist of some kind. Does the CIA accept screenplay submissions?
To be honest Unk, I felt I was already beyond the scope of the course. I’d actually recommend it to someone who perhaps didn’t have access to Syd Field or some other beginner type look at writing. I didn’t want to spend too much time going over material that I know already so I stopped 1/3 of the way in and unloaded it.
We gotta tell Dana over at Triggerstreet about this, just so he knows the tsunami of competition that it is.
Denis… Make that 7 purchases now… LOL. Hmmm. What else can I find to hock from here?
UPSELLS… I need UPSELLS!
MovieQuill…
So are you saying for a newbie, this $97 package is worth the $$$$$? Or would they be better off buy $97 worth of books?
Unk
Wait. People are really spending money on it?
As I live and breathe… LOL. That’s cool.
I just realized that I totally forgot to mention that James Lamberg says in his Sylvestor Stallone headline:
“These FIVE WORDS Changed My Writing Career! Here’s What SYLVESTER STALLONE Told Me in Los Angeles – And Why You REALLY SHOULD Follow His Advice!”
Cool… No problem there… LOL. But right underneath THAT he writes:
“In March 1992, I met Sylvester Stallone during the launch of Planet Hollywood in London.”
So which is it James????? Los Angeles or London? I guess it doesn’t matter… LOL. Just thought I’d mention it…
Wonder how long it’ll take to get changed?
Unk
LMAO — which in a Ghanaian internet cafe isn’t winning me any friends!
Ironically I’m writing a screenplay in about 28 days at the moment — and I didn’t even buy the damn course.
I must have channelled it!
Thank God for the “How to become psychic in 28 days course” I bought last year!
Of course if I’d know you could charge for makinbg stuff up, I would have made my blog pay per view!
Cheers dude, a tonic, as ever!
Clive
Hey you bunch of mocking, condescending, petty, unjust, controlling, malevolent bullies. Who are you people? The Old Testament God?
You assume it’s 28 Earth days. Well . . . you have to read between the lines, beneath the lines, deep under the lines, forget the damn lines! The lines have nothing to do with it.
Just buy the damn program, and make your way to Mercury, where 58 of their days equal one of ours.
Granted . . . that costs extra.
Oh, and use MY affiliate link!
I think you should spread the wealth there, Unk. Use your ill-gotten gains to sponsor an orphan somewhere….
Clive…
But see… All you’ve done is WRITE a screenplay… Purchase through my affiliate link and get the movie contract too!
Adam…
Wanna buy through your own affiliate link? Or mine? I prefer mine… LOL.
Film Diva…
Ill-gotten? I don’t make anyone click their mouse buttons… I don’t make anyone copy their credit card information into the little processing boxes… Besides… I’m sponsoring screenwriting orphans EVERYWHERE… LOL.
Unk
I’m the son of an orphan, my next door neighbor is an orphan, his best friend knows two orphans, the kid that cuts my lawn is an orphan and I have subsequently created two orphans of my own. UNK is taking good care of all of them, I can vouch for that.
the janitor
Stop wasting time trying to outsmart each other and get back to work you lazy bastards. I want 120 pages on my desk by morning.
The Producer
Unfortunately, these scumbags are representative of the “wriuters” who have made the most money of any writers in Hollywood: the ones who can teach you the “secret of success.”
20-plus years ago, I edited a newsletter for the Hollywood Scriptwriting Institute and I used to do a column called “The Secret of Success,” asking successful screenwriters to pass on what they knew. The pontificators pontificated, the honest folks said they didn’t have a clue.
Jim Cash (who co-wrote “Beverly Hills Cop” among others) actually did pass on “the secret of success” and I am going to pass it on to you - for free:
“I have no clue what the secret of success is, but it’s my experience that if you consider failure a temporary phenomenon - no matter how long it lasts - and simply outlast it, you’re likely to find success on the other side of that.”
20-plus years later, a few movies written that got made (but I’m not giving my name here, but if I did you really could find me in the IMDb, unlike the bozos of this story above), I will tell you that is the most useful bit of advice I ever got.
Hey Unk,
You’re right, I forgot they also guaranteed the contract at the end of it.
That’s some goddamn powerful course — “How to write a perfect first draft and sell it in 28 days”
It’s criminal really — I’ve busted my ass and damn near bankrupted myself for nine years to learn how do do this thing — and personally I’ve never written a first draft that didn’t need at least another year’s work on it.
Have they got any tips in that course about how to complete the forth act of a script written in a language you don’t understand, in a culture that makes your head spin, when you’ve got malaria — because right now, I’d pay good money for that.
The “outlast the bad spell” advice, is actually the best advice I’ve ever heard about screenwriting — seriously.
Of course for me it’s more a case of “outlast the bad spelling!”
Mirrors the advice Richard Nixon gave about the formula to success.
He said that persistence was the only quality that guranteed success.
And hey, it worked for him ;-)
This site is so good for my soul — in so many ways.
Spec screen writing and indie film making can be a hard road, especially when the bad patch seem to just get longer and longer.
The community building here reminds me on a daily basis that:
a) I’m not alone in this
and
b) I’m starting to understand how to do this thing!
It’s worth every penny! LOL
[...] So I’ve made over $200 smackeroos on Movie in a Month. Do I feel bad? Don’t EVEN ask me that… If someone REALLY TRULY wants to believe that shit and buy it, why not through me? You gotta spend money to make money… LOL. [...]
There’s a book out called, “How to write a movie in 21 days” — I bought it five years ago, read it once and have written 86.9 screenplays since.
I’m currently developing a software program called “How to sell 86.9 scripts in 21 days”
Don’t waste your time with the “28 days” BS — you’re wasting 7 days per script!
J.T. Clark
http://www.writtenbyclark.com
Stallone part has changed.
Hey, It’s May 7th and it’s STILL the one and only day to buy 28 days for $97.00. I’m a newbie, never wrote anything but short stories and poems, but I don’t think I’m stupid enough to go for this. Why would I buy a package from someone who can’t spell correctly or uses improper grammar?
p.s. I just bought Syd Field’s Screenwriter’s Workbook for $16 and I’ll see where that gets me. Formatting? Isn’t that what FinalDraft is for? Don’t think I’ll quit my day job for that promise LOL
The “too good to be true” offers are still out there. I just received an email promising me that I would be able to write a novel in 20 days. Going to the website, the same “Dear Friend” pops up. The page goes on forever, trying to pitch me into spending 49.95 on this life-changing course which according to the site is so exclusive that I should sign up today. Here is a quote, their last paragraph before finally getting to the ORDER NOW link;
P.P.P.S. We actually withdrew this course from sale earlier this year (previously, it was only for sale as a correspondence course in the UK) as we planned to turn it into the heart of our business and open exclusive writing schools in both London and New York. Our intention was to teach its core principles to only those that can afford it. We’ve revamped this course and brought it back due to demand, but may withdraw it at any time.
Yep, time is running out, so don’t delay…
Sorry, it was 28 days, as is the industry norm, not 20 as I typed above.
The site is http://www.writequickly.com so feel free to check out how they can safe your miserable never-finished-anything life.
Oh, they start the pitch with “from the desk of…”. I always get a creepy feeling when I see that.
And finally, in their third and last P.S., they use the UK. Probably makes it sound more sophisticated. I would comment on the rest of the pitch, but I couldn’t be bothered to read through it. I have a script to write.
Wow, if only they had this thirty years ago.
Raiders of the Lost Ark would be FIFTY TIMES BETTER if George Lucas knew these AWESOME SECRETS!!